The Truth About Love
by bloodrosered
Summary: The sequel to You Spin Me Right Round. Stu and Ava have parted ways amicably, remaining friends. Ava finds out Stu is already engaged...yet she still has feelings for him. The Wolf Pack has another wild night in Bangkok...while Ava and Stu struggle for their true feelings with each other, rekindling the flame. M for sex, violence, language
1. Hardwood Floors

_Hardwood Floors_

**_AN: I don't own Hangover characters. Just Ava. Also, I don't own the Steppenwolf song here mentioned. I bow to them._**

_Twenty Years Ago  
_

_Two ten-year-olds: a boy and a girl. Sitting in the tree house. The boy was gangly, pasty-white with glasses in dorky clothes. He was nervous. He sucked in his lips as he stared at the girl with dark hair in plaited pigtails, overalls and a t-shirt. She had blue sapphire eyes. The prettiest girl in the world.  
_

_They looked out at the kids mulling around in the yard. There was a birthday party going on. Yet, the boy and girl wanted quiet time. Get away from the noise and excitement. Though the girl liked parties, it was nice to be with her friend alone. She noticed he looked nervous. The boy wanted to talk to her alone...he was always embarrassed to talk to her in front of his friends.  
_

_"Hey, Stuey," said the girl. "Are you OK? You're sweating."_

_"Yea, Ava," he said, his voice trembling. _

_"So, what did you want to talk about? Was someone being mean to you?"_

_"No." His hands were shaking. "I...I wanted to give you your birthday present..."_

_"Yea? What is it, Stuey?"_

_"Um...well...I thought...maybe...well, it's a kiss..."_

_"Oh...I see. Is that why you wanted to give it to me alone, hm?" she giggled. _

_Stuey blushed, lowering his head._

_"It's OK, Stuey," Ava said, smiling. "We can try it...just once...no one has to know."_

_Stuey was excited. His first kiss. Ava sat on her knees, getting comfortable. The two of them leaned in...puckering their lips..._

_"HEY!" yelled a voice outside. _

_The two of them looked out the tree house door and saw the red-haired, freckled boy with a big smile on his face.  
_

_"STUEY'S KISSING AVERS!" __He was pointing and laughing. _

_"PHIL!" yelled Ava. "YOU STUPID ASS! LEAVE US ALONE!"_

_Soon all the kids in the yard saw them and started laughing with Phil. Then, he began to sing, making the other kids join in...__taunting and laughing. _

_"STUEY AND AVERS SITTIN' IN A TREE...KAY-EYE-ESS-ESS-EYE-EN-GEE!" _

_Stu was red with humiliation, trying to hide in the tree house. Ava was angry and humiliated. She went to climb down the ladder only to find it was missing..._

_"YOU SONOFABITCH!" Ava yelled. "PUT THE LADDER BACK, PHIL! I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!"_

_"Come on down and try it, Avers," challenged Phil. "Kiss Stu first...then I'll put the ladder back!"  
_

_"Kiss him!" the kids all chanted. _

_Ava just climbed down from the tree and leaped to the ground. She jumped on Phil and beat him up. Stu was left up there, alone...embarrassed...he wouldn't come out until all the kids were gone...  
_

* * *

_Present Day_

Dr. Stuart Price heard his alarm go off at 5 AM. He sighed, knowing he had to go to work. He was a bit sad, his heart ached...he stared at the empty side of the bed...he missed a warm body being next to him. Well, things were about to change since he had been dating for a while...

What a dream he had. That memory from long ago...his first near kiss...with the girl of his dreams...and now she was gone.

He was sad when it happened...but he understood. Ava Billings told him honestly that she wasn't really ready for a commitment...she missed her freedom. They parted on amicable terms...she returned his ring as she promised...then, she left about a week later. She and him agreed to stay friends, but it might be awkward for a while.

Stu was so depressed for months after Ava was gone. He couldn't get out of bed some days. He hardly shaved and showered after they parted.

He grabbed the pillow where Ava once laid next to him and smelled it...

Her smell was gone...

He missed her. Every time he dated a woman, he always saw...

Her.

He switched on the radio, hearing Steppenwolf's _Tenderness_ playing as he pulled on his clothes...getting ready for work...

* * *

Ava Billings blinked her eyes as her 6 AM alarm went off, she turned on the radio, which played Steppenwolf's _Tenderness_. She sighed, getting up. She didn't want to but she had to go to work that morning.

It had been almost two years since the Las Vegas incident. Things had changed in that short amount of period of time. Ava had changed too. She completed her online courses. Got her teaching degree. Got a stable job working in a preschool/daycare. Got her own apartment. She was still richer than God of course, but she had no intention of touching that money she got from Mike Tyson: a very generous amount of money that the heavy weight champion boxer gave her for returning his tiger when she and the boys were in Vegas.

Of course, her little Cherry Girl video made her a celebrity...until it slowly died down. She got hounded for a while for autographs and pictures from people, but eventually...they forgot. But her little move was made extremely popular among strippers at bachelor parties and clubs last she heard. Embarrassing as it was. Getting a job as a daycare/preschool teacher was hard because of that one video, but she managed to get it, after carefully explaining that it was her brother's bachelor party...and she had absolutely no memory of that night along with a promise that she had no intention of doing that again.

Ava loved working in the daycare/preschool. It was good to be working with kids again...despite having a brother-in-law, Alan, who was just like them. He was dumb and crazy as shit, but sweet. He always called Ava 'Mother Wolf'...a weird nickname. She found out why eventually: when they were in Vegas, Alan had created a little group, adding her twin brother, Doug, and her besties, Phil and Stu called the Wolf Pack . Alan dubbed Ava as part of his Wolf Pack as well, which was cute she guessed. But why not? These boys were her friends.

Life should've been good for her, but it wasn't.

Ava was depressed...so damn depressed...While she dressed, she listened to that song on the radio, listening to the guitar strumming and plucking, John Kay's rough voice...how this song reminded her of herself...and Stu...

_She tried to show me how to love_

_I bit her lips and bruised her arms_

_No, I hadn't learned_

_Tenderness_

_She asked what does love mean to you_

_I grabbed her hair and pulled her down_

_I looked in her eyes and I laughed_

_The love I feel is hard and fast  
_

_It's for a face and one night_

_I don't need to own anyone_

Almost a few months of being with Stu after Las Vegas, she decided she missed her freedom and wasn't ready for a relationship. She and Stu parted amicably, but they remained friends as always. Of course, she was honest with Stu about her feelings...he was a bit devastated, but he understood.

_She said, she said all your women_

_Burn in your flame_

_And as it dies, it dies they'll leave you_

_And seek revenge_

Ava returned to her old lifestyle as usual. Yet, after a while, she felt...it was getting a bit old. It didn't feel the same as it did before for some reason.

_She laughed and said, "You'll go through hell_

_And live in lonely rooms I know_

_And watch my love's tenderness_

Every guy she slept with or dated, she couldn't stop thinking about...

Him.

She didn't understand at all.

_I went to her to someone else_

_To someone else_

_No I wouldn't be satisfied_

A year or so had passed, Stu and Ava saw each other. Yet, Ava chose to make her appearances at her friends' houses as minimal as possible since it was a bit uncomfortable with Stu being there and she was pretty sure he felt the same way too. She hadn't heard he was dating anyone lately.

She was pissed with herself...she let Stu go. How could she?! She was so stupid to do that! Stu was the perfect guy and she fucked it up! All because what? She wanted to have more orgasms with other people?! Fuck! What the hell was wrong with her?

_I wish I could find her now_

_My love is soft, my love is warm..._

Well, since Stu wasn't dating anyone else...she came up with an idea...hmm...she thought about doing something spontaneous. Maybe surprise Stu with something sexy. She wanted to try again with him...this time she was ready. She didn't want any more one-night stands or booty calls. She was tired of it.

Maybe Stu would take her back...after all, they did agree that they could.

_Take your time, Ava. _Stu said. _I'm not going anywhere. Whenever you're ready...just let me know._

Yea! She made an appointment for a dental consultation with Stu at his office...a follow-up about her broken tooth that he gladly fixed. She decided to surprise him with something he might like. She went to a salon to get her downstairs...let's just say, groomed. Oh yes! Stu would like this indeed. Sure it would itch, but if she took care of it before the day before her dental appointment so it wouldn't be puffy and red.

She bought a sexy garter belt with thigh high stockings and heels. She hated heels, preferring her Converses. She packed them just to change once she got there. She wore an easy removable dress, which she would tuck away once in his office. She had everything planned out for this surprise. She grinned wickedly as she went to Stu's private office with the nurse.

She shut the door, threw off her loose dress and grabbed one of Stu's lab coats. Oh! She had nothing underneath except a pair of stockings. Stu would definitely like this! She sat in his chair in front of his desk, which was covered in patient files, pens, papers, X-rays...a lot of shit that she didn't care about since it was going to be knocked over.

She heard approaching footsteps...grinning and shaking with anticipation. No! Had to stay calm. She crossed her legs and sat sexily in his chair.

Soon, Stu came in, looking at some chart in his hand...

"OK," he began, then looked up through his wire-rimmed glasses...

"HOLY SHIT!" he exclaimed, startled and clumsily dropped the charts out of his arms when he saw Ava sitting there, in his chair...in his lab coat...with nothing on! He stared dumbly, paralyzed, unable to speak...

"Hello, Dr. Price," Ava said, sexily, smirking. "I've got a cavity...and it needs to be drilled..."

"Uh..." he said, dumbly, laughing a bit nervous. "What...are you doing, Ava?"

"What do you think?" she simpered, winking. "I had an appointment for a root canal...so here I am...ready for some drilling..."

Ava stood up, cocked her hip and showed him her downstairs...HOLY...FUCKING SHIT! Apparently Ava had improvement done. Stu had to get his eyes off of that...hardwood floor. He laughed nervously and uncomfortably...this certainly was a surprise for him: a dental consultation only to end up staring at naked Ava, upstairs and downstairs.

"Well, bad boy," she said. "Get over here and start drilling..."

"Uh...this is...really..." Stu stumbled, trying to find his words. He was sweating, trying very hard not to stare at his old flame.

"Stu, I brought you your lunch..." said a woman's voice...then, a young Asian's face appeared who looked towards Ava. "Who's this?"

Ava's face drained and her stomach dropped. Aw SHIT! She pulled Stu's lab coat over her nakedness.

"Uh...Lauren," he said, mortified, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck. "This is...Ava, my friend. Ava, this is my..._girlfriend_, Lauren...whom I was planning on introducing tonight..." He said the last part through his teeth.

Shit! Not AGAIN! Why is it that every time she wanted to hook up with a guy, she finds out he's already attached. Shit! Also she forgot! Doug had said that Stu was bringing over a friend tonight at Phil's barbeque...and here she was, meeting her with hardwood floors and in Stu's lab coat. Seriously, she needed to remember to write down stuff.

"I should probably get clothes on," Ava said, awkwardly embarrassed.

"Yea," he said miffed and mortified, looking down at his feet.

"Could you...?"

"Yea."

He shut the door and let Ava get dressed, which she did very quickly. She was definitely not going to grace her presence at the barbeque tonight. Nope! Not to awkwardly meet Stu's new girlfriend...it wasn't worth it.

She made a beeline to the door and went straight home to her apartment, locking the door and pulling the shades down. She even unhooked the phone off the hook and shut off her cellphone. No way was she going to show her face to the world after what she did.

* * *

By the next day, Ava just lied on the couch, flipping through the TV, waiting her Chinese food order to arrive. She wasn't going anywhere. $100 for a fucking Brazilian wax to seduce her old flame...only to find out he has a girlfriend already. Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with her? She always had this problem seducing the wrong guy who is attached...and she took so many careful steps to avoid that.

Yet, it wasn't her fault! Doug said friend...he never said girlfriend. Stupid douche!

There was a knock at her door and she figured it was her take-out. Grabbing her money, she opened the door only to be met by Stu, with a look of indignation.

"OK," he said very annoyed and embarrassed. "Could we talk please?"

"Sure," she said. "Come in."

He looked around. He hadn't been in Ava's apartment before. It was a bit messy, but he figured. He smiled a little, pleased that Ava had her own place. Her fridge was decorated with art projects from the daycare she worked at.

"Coffee?" she said.

"No thanks."

"Feel free to sit."

He sat at a bar stool at a counter. He stared at his old flame...her pixie hair was a bit longer than last time, yet still messy as ever. Still beautiful...yet, it pained him a little to look at her. She was in her sweats and a tank top.

"OK, Stu," she began slowly. "About what I did...I'm really sorry...I was just trying to surprise you."

"Yea..." he said, stiffly. "And I would've appreciated it long ago, but I don't right now...but when you pull shit like that, it's really...embarrassing. My girlfriend saw you _and_ your naked pussy!"

"I take it she doesn't like me," Ava stated.

Not that she had a problem with people not liking her. She would just rather not get off on the wrong foot with her friends' significant others. Well, except for Melissa. She was a bitch. She hated her from the moment she met her.

"Well, no," said Stu. "She's a bit suspicious of me now. She thinks I'm cheating on her."

"Again, sorry. But why are you here, Stu? Other than to give me a lecture on embarrassing you..." She crossed her arms.

"Actually, I want you to meet Lauren. I think the two of you should meet...here."

"Um...now?" Ava raised her eyebrows.

"No. I want us to meet next weekend...for coffee. After you left, I explained to her about your...colorfully embarrassing personality and she seems to like you a bit. She thought you were a bit...funny."

"Funny as in 'haha' or weird?" Ava said dryly.

"Um...a little of both. Also, I'd appreciate it that we don't mention that we were married...and that we slept together."

"I'm no squealer, Stu," she said deadpanned. "That's Alan's department."

Stu laughed. "Yea. Let's hope he can keep a lid on it about that, God forbid."

"OK. I guess I'll see you next weekend, Stu. Should I order anything special?"

"Coffee, donuts and bagels are fine," he said. "Thanks for doing this."

"No prob, Stu."

She led him to the door and they...er, shook hands like friends. They wanted to take it slow and mend their friendship, of course. They didn't think hugging would be appropriate at the time. Ava watched as Stu drove away. She sighed...

She really did miss him. She wanted to scream it from the rooftops.

Well, too late. He was the one that got away...and she let him...


	2. Green-Eyed Monster

_Green Eyed Monster_

"It's a _green_-_eyed monster_ that makes fun of the victims it devours." -_Othello_, Act 3, Scene 3

* * *

By next weekend, Stu and Lauren came over for coffee at Ava's apartment. Ava ordered some breakfast donuts and bagels in case they wanted something to munch on, spreading out butter and cream cheese containers on the table. She cleaned her apartment. She didn't want to embarrass herself in front of Stu and his new girlfriend. Well...not that she already did at his office...

The doorbell rang and she went to answer it. There was Stu and Lauren.

"Hi," she said. "Come on in."

They stepped inside. Lauren looked a bit uncomfortable meeting Stu's friend: the colorfully embarrassing naked girl at the dentist office that Stu described. Ava offered them breakfast treats and coffee.

"Hi, Lauren," Ava said. "I'm Ava Billings...I'm...the naked girl."

"Wow. I didn't recognize you with clothes on..." she said a bit dry.

"Yea..." Ava laughed a bit uncomfortable.

Lauren looked around Ava's apartment. Stu and Lauren sat on the bar stools, eating the food and drinking coffee.

"So...what's all this?" asked Lauren, seeing some of the artwork on her counter.

"Oh...that's from the kids at the daycare I work at," Ava said. "I really love working with them. Every day is so awesome."

"Aw, it's really cute! You probably have lots of fun, right?"

Ava nodded with a smile, sipping her coffee. "Yea. I'm kind of a kid myself: I love coloring, snacks, nap time...sometimes I take off my clothes for no reason..."

Stu was embarrassed at first, but was surprised to see Lauren laughing. He joined in.

"So, how do you and Stu know each other?" Lauren asked.

"Stu and I have known each other since we were kids," Ava answered. "He's my older brother, Doug's, best friend. All I can say is any friend of my brother's is a friend of mine too."

"I didn't know you were Doug's sister."

"Yea. We're twins. I wasn't at the dinner that Stu was going to introduce you."

"And...you and Stu never...?"

"No," she lied; she was good at that.

"Well, that's good to hear. But what was with the whole...deal at the office?"

Ava couldn't think of anything. Shit! Stu blanched. He knew this would come up eventually.

"Oh!" Ava said. "That was just a prank. It's kind of an inside joke with me and the guys. They used to do it to me when we were kids...flash their ding-dongs at me whenever I didn't expect it."

Stu wanted to sigh with relief, ever so grateful Ava came up with a clever cover. He laughed a bit.

"Oh, I see," Lauren said.

Ava shrugged. "Yea. It's embarrassing. I can promise you that I'm just one-of-the-guys. And no, I don't sleep with my best friends...especially if they're friends of my brother's."

Stu smiled appreciatively that Ava had covered everything. And of course, Stu was pleased to find that his girlfriend DID like Ava after getting to know her a bit: she found her funny and very appealing. She impressed her. And of course, Ava liked Lauren.

"Thanks again for doing this," Stu said, appreciative.

"No prob, Stu," Ava said with an uncomfortable smile. "I'm glad we could clear the air about the whole...naked thing."

"Yea."

"I'm really happy for you, Stu," Ava said. "I guess you picked a winner this time."

"Thanks, Ava. I hope to see you more often too...I mean, I know it's awkward, but we're friends. I really like hanging out with you."

Ava smiled, sucking in her lips. "Me too."

They shook hands of course, still looking at each other...with a mixture of discomfort and hurt that still lingered there and said goodbye. Ava watched as Stu got into his car with Lauren and drive away.

Truth be told, she was not happy. She wanted to tell Stu how much she missed him and wanted him back. But too late now. When she saw Stu holding hands with Lauren...kissing her...staring adoringly...she couldn't help but admit that she was jealous.

Jealous that Stu was in love with someone else...jealous that a new woman was in his life...

Well, she shouldn't be. She was supposed to be happy for him. He was her friend. If this woman made him happy, then it should be the end of it. Still, she couldn't help but feel those hurt feelings, regret and resentment with herself. Why did she break up with Stu in the first place?

_Oh, because you can't keep your legs closed, you immature slut!_ Ava yelled at herself.

She dumped a really nice guy because she chose to go back to her old selfish life.

_And **now** you want him back?! _she told herself. _It's not going to happen. You're never gonna get Stu back. He's moved on...so should you! _

The green-eyed monster inside Ava was clawing its way from the oblivion inside Ava...and she hardly got jealous. The few times she felt jealousy was when Doug always got better stuff than her...at least that's how she saw it. Other than with men, she didn't get jealous...well, except with Dave Cotis, her ex whom she caught in the shower with his ex-girlfriend.

All she had to do was contain this monster inside her...keep it down as much as possible...she had to, for Stu's sake. For hers.

* * *

After a few months, she found out Stu got engaged to Lauren and received an invitation to his wedding. There was to be an engagement party in two weeks, held at Doug and Tracy's house. It was the only place that was big enough to host parties.

Ava looked at the invitation full of bitter resentment and disgust.

_He's known this girl for HOW LONG and he got engaged already?! Jesus! _the green monster inside Ava said.

Well, she supposed that Lauren was a fine match for Stu. At least she wasn't mean to him like Melissa was. Yea. She'd forgotten about that She-Bitch. Just a few months ago, who should she run into in Starbucks...holding hands...with another woman. Shit! Melissa had become a lesbian. She wanted to tell Stu this: it'd be a good laugh to hear his mean ex-girlfriend preferred tacos over sausage. She was still very bitter with Ava for fucking Stu and humiliating her at Doug's wedding. But Ava didn't care...at least she was out of their lives for good.

Fuck! Why the hell would she go to Stu's wedding? It would only bring her more unhappiness knowing that the man she loved...still loved would be getting married. Well, she missed her chance. That could've been her. She wore Stu's ring once in Las Vegas...now some other woman was wearing it now.

She just stuck the invitation up on the fridge, burying it under her utilities bills. She didn't want to look at it, truth be told.

Goddammit! This was her friend! She should be supporting him, being happy for him...this was bullshit being jealous.

* * *

The engagement party eventually arrived. Ava arrived a bit late since she had a very busy day at the daycare. She wore a green summer dress with a V-neck, just showing the top of her breasts and a pair of flat tan shoes. She wasn't used to dressing for this occasion, but she figured just once...look nice for the occasion.

She stared around at the atmosphere, a very elaborate affair: it served buffet-style with catered food and a very expensive triple-tier blue cake with white flowers and an engagement ring inside a box, all made of ganache. Next to it was a sheet cake that had Stu and Lauren's picture and a big CONGRATULATIONS STU + LAUREN.

She saw the cakes, filled with so much bitter resentment and hate. Just seeing those fucking cakes made her want to puke. She had to keep telling herself that she was here for Stu. Her friend was getting married...getting motherfucking married! The green-eyed monster started taunting her. She had to keep it contained.

Ava saw Stu and Lauren were chatting away, greeting the guests. Next to her was a young man she didn't recognized. Ava inhaled and exhaled, trying to shove the envious feelings as far down as possible. To think, that could be her and Stu. She was jealous. Fuck! Fuckity fuck! She shouldn't be. It was stupid to be this way.

Stu saw Ava arrive at the party. He couldn't help but smile. It was always good to see her. Truth be told, even though they broke up, he hardly saw her anymore at Phil's and Doug's. He missed her. She was ever so beautiful. Yet...she looked a bit...sad. Could it be...she still...?

"Hi, Ava!" said Stu, so happy to see her.

"Hi," she said, trying to keep her feelings in check. She could actually feel tears coming out...so much bitter regret and resentment.

"I'm so glad you came."

"Yea. Me too."

"Are you OK?" he asked, worried.

"I'm fine," Ava assured in a tight voice. "Just had a crazy day at work. We did a lot of finger painting today...it got extra messy...so I had to stay a little late and clean up. You know what happens when you mix sugar-fueled kids and paint."

Stu laughed. He was glad Ava had a job that she actually enjoyed. "Sounds fun."

"Hello, Ava!" Lauren said happy. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Thank you," Ava said smiling painfully. "I...I don't really have much of a gift for you and Stu...but here." She handed them an envelope.

"Why, thank you, Ava. You can put your gift over there." She gestured towards a table full of gifts.

Ava grabbed a champagne flute and drank it. She stood with Phil and his wife, Stephanie, her brother, Doug and his new wife, Tracy, all chatting away. Ava stared with such bitter resentment with herself, drinking her champagne. She didn't hear half the conversation mostly. Then, in a silent growing envious rage, Ava snapped the glass right off its stem...unaware of what she did...until she felt the sharp glass scratch her thumb.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Lauren.

"Oops!" she said, embarrassed.

"Are you OK, Ava?" Stu asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," Ava assured. There was just a small cut on her thumb.

"Let's go get you a band-aid," he said.

Stu went inside to get a band-aid for her, which she thanked him appreciatively. Goddammit! The monster was getting stronger and harder to keep down. She had to control herself. This was Stu's day. She shouldn't ruin it with her petty behavior.

"So, you going to Stu's wedding, Avers?" asked Phil.

"Shut up!" she spat angrily, storming away to get another drink.

"Jesus, I guess it's your time of the month again," Phil said sarcastically.

"FUCK YOU, PHIL!" she yelled back, giving him the finger as she walked away.

"What the hell is _her_ problem?" asked Phil said to Doug.

Doug shrugged. This wasn't like Ava to act like this. He was surprised himself that his twin sister was acting a little...weird. Ava went to the bar, grabbing another champagne flute and doused it down angrily.

Soon, there was the toast, which everyone came up and said a few words about Stu and Lauren. Soon, Stu thanked everyone for coming.

"And now...for my best friend in the world...Ava Billings," Stu announced.

Ava blanched for a moment. Really?! Why the hell would he do this to her?!

"No thanks, Stu," she said quietly.

"Oh come on, Aves!" he laughed. "Surely you have something you can say!"

Ava sighed, tightened her jaw, forcing a smile. She held the mike...looking at all the people, staring at her. She tried to keep it together. Stu stared so happily at Ava, knowing she would have something really colorfully funny to say.

"Um..." Ava began, her voice trembling. "Yea...Stu and I...we've been best friends since we were kids..." Then, licked her lips nervously, looking at everyone, sweating, trying to compose herself. "Stu...and I first met when we were kids at elementary school...there was this girl, Tammy, who beat him up and gave him a black eye..."

While Stu stared smiling, reminiscing that day...with Lauren next to him. The green-eyed monster was clawing inside her...her rage was building up to a boiling point...

"Stu..." she said in a strained voice. Then something inside her just...snapped. "Like...are you FUCKING kidding me?" Ava just burst suddenly, dropping the mike.

The whole room went silent and everyone stared at her in shock. Stu face fell and blanched along with Lauren's.

"Ava!" Doug exclaimed mortified by his sister's sudden outburst.

"No, Doug," she interrupted. Then, turned back to Stu, "You're getting mother_fucking_ married, Stu?" she spat full of venom.

The whole room gasped in horror. Hands were clapped over mouths. Eyes were wide.

"Ava, what are you doing?!" Stu exclaimed.

"I mean...how long have you known her, Stu?" she shrieked. Then in a rageful sarcasm, getting louder and waving her arms about, the monster possessing her. "Oh...a couple of months...and now you're getting married? Oh, so what? You're gonna have a big fancy-schmancy white wedding with fucking flowers and stomp on a glass?" She threw her hand up in the air like she was tossing imaginary confetti. "Oh, _mazel tov! Shabbat shalom_! How FUCKING romantic, Stuart!"

"Ava, calm down," Stu said.

He had never seen this side of Ava before...well, once in Vegas when they argued in the empty lot. But this was a really ugly side of Ava.

"I mean what guy gets engaged to his girlfriend after knowing her for only a few months, right?" Then trilled in a mocking high-pitched voice, "LONELY and DESPERATE! We're all thinking that, right?!"

There were a few shakes of the head from everyone.

"OK...yes, we're ALL thinking that, right?!" Ava continued, her voice wavering and desperate.

"I mean, like who are you, Stuart?!" Ava ranted. "The Stu_ I_ know would've had a girlfriend for many years...then proposed to her. Oh, that's right! The ONLY woman you've stayed with for a prolonged period of time was Melissa...and she was a bad choice. How do you know you're making _another_ mistake? I mean...look at this party!" she shrieked full of spite. "Look at that _FUCKING_ cake!" She gestured at it. "You know what? I never got a chance...to try that **FUCKING** CAKE!"

Suddenly, Ava stormed away towards the yard...

"Stupid FUCKING..."

Then, in a childish rage, she grabbed a fistful of cake and shoved it in her mouth, smearing her face with blue ganache and white crumbs, getting all over her clothes.

"Ooh!" she crooned sarcastically. "Delicious!"

Then she picked up a fork and stabbed it viciously, completely destroying it. She kept screaming and cursing every letter in the alphabet, throwing food platters, smashing glasses and knocking over plates and utensils, kicking the pile of gifts with the sound of glass shattering. Then, she started punching the sheet cake, making large ugly holes in Stu and Lauren's faces. The green-eyed monster had taken full possession of her.

Everyone watched Ava's hissy fit in shock and dismay. Stu was mortified beyond belief that his best friend was acting like a spoiled teenager...right in front of his fiancee, family and friends. Phil was shocked, but tried to restrain himself from laughing. Doug was hiding his face, completely mortified by his sister's behavior while Tracy stood next to him.

"Does she always act like this?" Tracy whispered to Doug.

"Just..." Doug said. "When she's jealous."

Yea, Ava did have the green-eyed monster...and when it got out, it was really ugly. He seemed to recall as a child all those temper tantrums Ava threw whenever he got better stuff than her. But what could Ava be jealous about?

Stu stormed towards the screaming, frosting-covered Ava. Everyone watched as the two of them started screaming at each other, red-faced. Phil recalled this _deja-vu_ back in Vegas. She and Stu arguing right in the middle of the desert...only to end up getting slapped in the face because he called her a terrible name.

"Jesus Christ, Ava!" yelled Stu in horror and disgust. "Have you lost your _fucking_ mind?! What the FUCK are you doing?!"

"What am I doing?" seethed Ava softly, then shrieked, raising her frosted cake crumbed covered hands. "Well, you wouldn't know, would you? Where have you been, Stu?! You would have no idea! Let me fill you in...ever since you got engaged, everything has turned to SHIT!"

"You know...this is supposed to be MY time, Ava!" Stu spat. "Thank you very much for ruining this beautiful event for me!"

"No, thank YOU very much...for allowing me to see what a desperate stupid ass you are! And you wouldn't know that if you got your perfectly groomed head out of your asshole! In fact...out of her pussy, which I'm sure, is perfectly waxed!"

"You know what?! It is!" growled Stu, too angry to care if he embarrassed his fiancee.

"Well, nice to know that you like shaved pussy, Stuart!" Ava spat sarcastically.

"Seriously, Ava! You can't just be happy for me...then go home and talk trash behind my back like a NORMAL person?!"

"Well, I am happy for you, Stu. But I want to know is where _did_ you meet Lauren?" she said in a composed voice.

"That's none of your business, Ava," he hissed. "You know what? If you're going to act like this, don't even bother coming to my wedding."

"Fine! I really don't give a shit, Stu! FUCK you _and_ your fucking wedding! I hope it fucking rains on your day!"

Ava stormed away. Stu was so pissed off. Ava ruined the party. No. This was unforgivable what she did. She embarrassed him with her hissy fit. What the fuck was wrong with Ava?

"Dude," said Phil. "What the hell was that all about?!"

"I don't know," Stu said coldly. "And I don't care."

"I'll go talk to her," said Doug.

Doug caught up to Ava, finding her in the kitchen, wiping her cake covered hands, cursing under her breath.

"What the _hell _was that, Ava?" Doug began incredulous. "You ruined Stu's engagement party. What's wrong with you?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Doug," she said bitterly.

"Come on, baby sis. I've never seen the green-eyed monster in you come out since we were kids. What's going on with you?"

"I don't think you'd understand."

"Try me," he challenged.

"I'd rather not talk in here." She washed her hands, getting the remainder of the frosting off. "Everyone's staring at me."

He led her to his office and closed the door. Doug leaned against the desk, his arms crossed. He looked just like Dad when Ava always got in trouble.

"OK, what is going on, Ava? And what the hell was with that temper tantrum? You embarrassed not only me and Stu, but yourself!"

"I'm..." she began, uncomfortable. Ava sighed, feeling all her emotions pouring out. "I'm still in love with Stu. And I don't know how to handle this shit," Ava continued, nearly crying. "I just...I feel terrible that I broke up with him because I wasn't ready for a relationship...and now I am. Now I have to deal with seeing...that Stu has moved on and I haven't. And truth be told, I wanted him back...and now it's too late. I don't know what to do. It really sucks."

"Well, that colorful outburst didn't really help you, did it?" he said firmly. "I hope you don't act like that at the wedding."

"I'd rather jump in a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades than go. Plus, Stu said don't bother coming."

"Well instead of displaying that tantrum in front of everyone, have you _actually_ tried telling Stu how you feel?"

"No. I...I did..." she stammered, wiping away tears. "It was really awkward..."

Doug laughed, shaking his head. _Classic Ava_. he thought. "Yea. Stu told me about what you did at his office."

Ava blushed, laughing. "I thought he'd get the hint...only for Lauren to see me."

"Wow. That must've been mortifying."

"No shit," she said dryly.

"Well...I think you should tell Stu how you feel...you know, get some closure before he gets married. Just brace yourself for rejection, Aves. But, I think you should go to the wedding. Stu and you have been very close since we were kids. I think he'd want you there."

"Not now," Ava said. "I'll probably just fall apart and shit if I went there...it'll be like one of those embarrassing chick flick movies where the girl jumps up and confesses her love to the man she loves ON his wedding day. God. I'd hate to be that one."

"Well, I'll sit with you should that happen. In the meantime, you need to apologize to Stu and Lauren."

"I don't think I could make up for something like that."

Doug shook his head. "Aves, we know you. We know how colorfully embarrassing you are..."

"No...this was beyond colorful...this was psychopathic crazy..." she laughed, dabbing her wet eyes. "I should probably get out of here...seeing as everyone is talking about me..."

"Yea. Maybe that would be best."

* * *

Ava left the engagement party, embarrassed and crestfallen. She drove all the way to the bar, doing shots of whiskey in hopes to numb the pain she was feeling. She heard her phone vibrating...it was Stu. Why the fuck would he be calling?! She fucked up his engagement party...her guess was to yell at her. No matter. She pressed the REJECT button on her iPhone, letting it go to voice mail.

She ordered another round of drinks...she looked at some pics of her and Stu at Doug's wedding...seeing how happy they were. She smiled a bit painfully. Then, she closed her album just dropping her phone on the counter, burying her face in her hand. No amount of alcohol could numb the pain from regret...

She let him go! Why? She just kept asking herself. Why the fuck did she let Stu go? What was it that made her do such a stupid impulsive thing? Stu loved her...and she stomped on his heart.

She stumbled next door to the tattoo parlor, which the neon lights shined that they were open. There was a creepy tattooed, facially pierced artist, sitting bored behind the desk.

"Yea, what can I do for you?" asked the artist, perking up now that a customer came in.

"I want to add a thorn...to my rose," Ava said. "Put it close to the flower...and make it very large and more bloody."

Ava wanted to permanently ink this occasion. For each thorn she had on that rose meant an old lover, they were all small and insignificant. Stu would be the largest, bloodiest thorn because it was her fault that it hurt the most...

She lay on the chair while getting it done, listening to Poison's _Every Rose Has its Thorn _playing on the radio in the background...she lay there, listening to the words as the artist drew her newest addition to her tattoo...

_**Was it something I did **_

_**Was it something I said**_

_**Though I tried not to hurt you**_

_**Though I tried**_

_**I guess that's why they** **say...**_

She heard the hum of the tattoo gun...the pain as it drove into her flesh. She bit her lip, nearly drawing blood...getting lost in Bret Michaels' voice as he sang...

**_Every rose has its thorn_**

**_Just like every night has its dawn_**

**_Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song_**

**_Every rose has its thorn_**

The drum beats, the electric power chord ballad...she was lost in the pain...not from the tattoo needle, but in her heart filled with so much regret. She started shaking...feeling tears...

"Hey!" said the artist. "I can't do your tattoo right if you keep moving."

Ava dabbed her eyes trying to hide her tears. She let him continue, listening and closing her eyes, getting lost in the music and the memories of her and Stu...from childhood to Vegas...to the night they broke up...


	3. Punishment

_Punishment_

Ava was still passed out drunk. She was indeed comfortable this time whenever she passed out...wherever she was. Normally she'd wake up in someone's bed with a stranger next to her. This time, she was alone.

Suddenly, Ozzy Osbourne's _Crazy Train _blasted loudly, making her bolt upright. She screamed in pain as the loud music made her headache even worse and her ears were ringing. Soon, the music stopped and she found a very smug Stu standing in the doorway.

"GOOD MORNING!" he said loudly.

Stu grinned at his former flame, her dark hair mussed up and her eyes had dark circles.

"Oh God!" she groaned, rubbing her head painfully. "This had better be a nightmare...I'm going back to sleep..."

She was about to lay down and continue her hangover coma when Stu blasted the music again, making her clutch her head painfully. Shit! She forgot how mean he could be when he was pissed off.

"Shit!" she exclaimed. Her head was throbbing even worse.

"Such a beautiful day out," he sighed. "I think I'll open the blinds and let the sunshine in."

"Oh...no!" she exclaimed. "Don't you fucking dare..."

He opened them, blasting the light through the window. She painfully shielded her eyes and screamed again.

"GODDAMMIT, STU!" she yelled, shielding her eyes. "Jesus Christ!"

"Such a beautiful day," he sighed, hiding that obvious sign of anger. "I made you breakfast as well. A delicious breakfast burrito with scrambled eggs, lots of cheese, sausage and...salsa. And to go with that, a nice big glass of orange juice with lots of...pulp..."

Ava felt a wave of nausea coming...heaving, tasting vomit at the mention of food.

"I hate you so much..." she moaned. "But I deserved that."

"Good," he said. He crossed his arms. "Now, would you care to explain why you acted like you were twelve-years-old yesterday?"

Ava needed a moment to recollect her memory and her thoughts after that horrible rude awakening she got from Stu, a well-deserved one after the way she acted. She rubbed her head and found that she was dressed in her AC/DC t-shirt. She didn't remember putting this on. She was in Stu's house...in nothing more than this shirt.

"Um...question: how did I get here?" she asked.

"I picked you up," he said in a matter-of-fact. "I called you to yell at you some more, but a guy named Steve from the tattoo parlor answered and said you were passed out drunk."

"Did I do anything stupid this time?" she asked humiliated.

"Other than puking on yourself, no," he said. "I changed you out of your clothes. Your dress is in the wash right now."

"You saw me in my underwear?"

"It's nothing I haven't seen before," he replied with a shrug.

Ava sighed, really embarrassed. She was afraid Lauren was going to get the wrong idea AGAIN that Stu had brought her back to his house, changed her out of her clothes and she spent the night.

"Is Lauren here?" she asked worried.

"I sent her out for the day," he assured. "I told her that you and I needed to talk about yesterday. Also, I'm meeting with Phil and Doug for brunch later. So, on with my question: why did you act like you were a spoiled teenager on _My Super Sweet Sixteen_ yesterday?"

Ava sighed, holding down her nausea. "OK, I was...jealous," she began.

"Wow!" said Stu sarcastically. "How original and surprising!" Then returned to his normal voice. "What were you jealous of? Is it Lauren?"

"No! Lauren is cool and awesome..." she began...aw fuck! Who was she kidding? "OK, maybe just a little. But mostly of you."

"Really? And why would you be jealous of me?"

"Why would you be jealous of me?"

"Because...you found someone special...and I'm...I guess I was worried about losing you to her." Then signed with resignation. "Look, I'll save you time on the lecture: I won't come to your wedding. I will make my presence as minimal as possible from here on out. And I'll understand if Lauren doesn't want me in your life anymore."

"Huh," said Stu flatly. "How...very nice of you, Ava. But no...I'm not going to cut ties just because you had one temper tantrum. That would be stupid and immature."

"Seriously, Stu," she whined. "Can't you just let me fester in the soup of my own bitterness for a few more years?"

"I think you've festered long enough...since you turned into an exploding powder keg in public yesterday and made a complete asshole of yourself. However, because we're friends...and I'm pretty sure you want to make up for what you did, right?"

"Of course I do! I embarrassed myself. But I don't think anything will atone for what I did yesterday."

"Well...you kind of did...halfway," he said with a smile. "Lauren and I were going through our gifts, half of them were damaged by you...and we found your $50,000 check. So, that will replace whatever got damaged."

"OK...but what are you getting at, Stu?

He smirked wickedly. "I have a punishment in mind to get you the rest of the way. First off, you've made it clear that you don't want to be in my wedding. I thought about it...but, I think you should since you are my friend, I'm going to make you come anyway...and to top it off, you're going to be my Best Maid."

"What?!" Ava exclaimed. "That's not a punishment..." Then she realized what he was doing. "Ohhh...I get it. This is your little 'ha ha' to me. God! I forgot how evil nerds can be."

"Well, we haven't taken over the world just yet," he laughed. "So, the first part of your punishment is you, Lauren and the girls are going dress and shoe shopping."

"Aw shit!" Ava groaned. If there was one thing she hated, it was shopping...with the girls. ""Can't you just let me suffer with my hangover and that rude wake-up call?"

"Nope," he said with a grin. "You want to mend this friendship. You have to do it. AND you are going to wear the dress that's picked out for you...and you are going to look your best. You are going to be on your BEST behavior at the wedding. You are not going to have any emotional outbursts the whole time. Agreed?"

"Fine. I will do it," she sighed. "You are an evil man, Stuart!"

Stu chuckled evilly.

"Now, come on," he said. "Let's go to IHOP. We gotta meet Phil and Doug there. Then, I'm dropping you off at the mall to meet the girls."

"I hate you," she grumbled.

* * *

They drove to the IHOP together. Ava was wearing her sunglasses, her AC/DC t-shirt, a pair of Stu's jeans with a belt, which were rolled up at the knees. Her rose tattoo was still tender from the newest addition.

"So, why did you keep my AC/DC shirt?" she asked. "You could've given it back."

Stu shrugged as they walked into IHOP. "I figured you would need something clean to wear if I ever picked you up drunk again."

They walked in together and found Doug and Phil in a booth. Phil had his infant daughter with him in a car seat.

"Well, well, well," laughed Phil. "If it isn't the star of _My Super Sweet Sixteen!_"

"Shut up, Phil," she hissed low. "I would kick your ass right now if I didn't feel like shit."

"Someone's hungover," he sing-songed.

"So what's going on, Ava?" asked Doug. "Are you in the wedding?"

"Well, first I have to atone for my little tantrum by going shopping with the girls...and look at bridesmaids dresses."

"Ooh!" laughed Phil in a mocking girly voice. "Are you going to buy shoes and talk about girlie things?"

"So, why are we meeting here? What's going on?" asked Ava, ignoring Phil's mockery.

"Well, it turns out Alan found out he's not invited to Stu's wedding," Doug began. "Tracy thinks we should invite him."

"Ah...so how's married life treating you, big brother?" Ava said dryly. "Is the ol nutcracker crushing your nuts a bit each day?"

Doug laughed at his sister's sense of humor.

"No fucking way!" Stu said firmly. "Absolutely not!"

"C'mon, Stu," Doug placated. "It's killing him."

"I don't care," said Stu. "Honestly, the three of you were barely invited...especially you, Aves, since you're already on thin ice."

Ava rolled her eyes. "I'm kind of with Stu on this one, Dougie. I don't want to end up drugged in Stu's bed again this time around."

Phil sniggered. Classic Stu and Ava...fucking all over Vegas. Getting married in Vegas. Having a threesome in Vegas. It was a shame the two of them broke up. They were perfect for each other since they were two dirty whores. However, Ava made Alan and Phil swear that they never tell Doug that she and Stu got married in Vegas. They felt it would be best.

"Thank you, Ava!" said Stu appreciatively. "You just earned a little bit of my forgiveness back."

"You're welcome...and thank you."

"It's just that...Alan considers you guys his best friends." Doug said.

"I consider Alan to be insane," said Stu.

"Stu, throw him a bone," said Phil. "His dad pays for everything that he eats and breaks. You know, we should see if we can squeeze the old man to cover for the bachelor party."

"Dude," Ava sighed. "I think they've done enough...Sid AND Alan. I mean we trashed Sid's car. And Alan, do I have to explain?"

"How 'bout _you_ to pay for the bachelor party, Avers?" said Phil. "You're richer than God."

"What's he talking about, baby sis?"asked Doug curiously.

"Nothing..." she insisted, glaring at Phil.

"Mike Tyson gave your sister money in Vegas..." Phil laughed.

"DAMMIT, Phil!" she hissed. "You are _just_ as bad as Alan...with your big stupid mouth!"

Stu laughed. He knew about the money that Tyson gave her...and he was the only one who knew the amount as well. It was their dirty little secret.

"Wait! _THE_ Mike Tyson...gave YOU money?" Doug said incredulous. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"It's nothing," she said nonchalant. "We stole his tiger in Vegas. Then we returned it...and he just handed me some money, saying thank you. But I am not touching that money."

"She gave me half a million dollars at my engagement party," said Stu.

"Shit! How much money do you have, baby sis?" asked Doug. "And where was that money for my wedding?"

"Dougie, I stole $2,400 from a dangerous Asian gangster and gave you the cut...plus you had $80,000 worth of chips in your pocket. You should be fine."

The boys laughed. Yea, classic Ava: a slutty thief.

"Anyway, about the bachelor party..." Stu began. "I'm glad you brought that up, Phil...because this IS the bachelor party."

"Uh...what is?" Ava said confused.

"Yea, it's my bachelor brunch," he said.

"Um...aren't you breaking the rules, Stuey? I thought girls weren't allowed at bachelor...brunch."

"Well, today...you're an exception, Aves," said Stu. "You're my friend. So go crazy! Get some chocolate chip pancakes...get a lapdance from a waitress."

Ava groaned just hearing any mention of food.

"That's bullshit!" sighed Phil. "You can't just skip out on the bachelor party, Stu."

"You see that?" Stu said, changing the subject. "There's orange juice with a napkin on top. You know why? So nobody roofies me."

"Well, I refuse to eat fucking cantelope at a bachelor party!" Phil said petulant.

"Yea, Stu," said Doug. "Don't you think you're overreacting?"

"Hey, leave him alone," Ava said defensive. "If Stu wants his bachelor party to be this, then that's his choice."

"Thank you again," Stu said. "You earned more of my forgiveness."

"Oh, since when are you and Stuey so joined at the hip, hm, Avers?" he smirked.

"Since Stu named me Best Maid this morning," Ava said cockily. "And I'm doing this against my will, by the way...if I want to earn my atonement."

"Yea. I'm still putting together the pieces of my broken psyche," he said. "And you know what the glue is: Lauren. I'm not going to screw this up."

Phil scoffed. "You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us. Stu, think about it: you ended up ditching Melissa...then, Ava ditches you. Then two years later, you meet your true soulmate."

Ava felt that bitterness coming up again. Nope. She had to keep that green-eyed monster down in the darkest depths. Her best friend was getting married...and she had to atone for her temper tantrum at his engagement party.

"Oh, thanks for rubbing the salt on the wound, Phil!" Ava hissed.

"Sorry. It's not my fault I'm telling the truth," Phil said. "You two were perfect for each other."

"Yes, I know," said Stu. "But that's between Ava and me. We'd gladly appreciate it that you don't rip open old wounds. We're trying to mend our friendship...which is delicate as it is."

"Seriously, Stu, you take Avers and Vegas out of that equation, you would've married a c*&t...sorry Avers."

The entire restaurant went silent and stared at the four of them. If there was ONE word Ava hated to hear AND speak, it was _that_ despicable word. Oh yes! Stu remembered how hard she slapped him in Vegas when he called her that word. He promised to never call her that. He was surprised she didn't punch Phil in the face.

"OK," Ava said disgusted. "You _know_ I don't like that word, Philip...but I'll let that go because I agree. Yes, Melissa was one."

"Don't worry. We're at a bachelor party. Oh wait! I forgot! There's no alcohol. We're at a fucking IHOP!" he continued to whine.

"Well, it's MY decision and it's final," said Stu. "So, let's have a toast."

"This sucks," whined Phil. "I'm gonna wait in the car."

"Where are you going?" asked Doug.

"I can't believe this! He's getting married in Thailand. That's great for him! What about us? You're being selfish, Stu!"

"And you're being an immature douche bag college boy," Ava said, defensive.

"You know what? Fuck you, Ava. Fuck you AND your little puppy Stu."

"Any time, any place," she spat back sarcastically. "You name it, Philip."

He groaned. Ava always one-upped him. He mumbled 'bitch' under his breath, storming away. Ava rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, Ava," Stu said appreciatively.

"No prob," she said.

"Yea. I'll stand up for you too," said Doug.

"Thank you," said Stu.

"But you GOTTA help me out with this Alan thing."

"Dougie," Ava sighed. "If Stu doesn't want him there...then that's his decision."

"Come on, Aves," said Doug. "Stu was nice enough to let you go to his wedding after your little colorful display at his engagement party..."

"OK, first off...I'm only going because Stu is making me...if I want to keep this friendship. This is my punishment. I know it's weird, but it's something Stu and I agreed upon."

"No," said Stu. "You're right, Doug. I was nice enough to let your sister come...and maybe I should do the same for Alan."

Ava sighed. _Typical Stu: a wishy-washy pussy!_ She thought._ But he's _**my**_ wishy-washy pussy! And I love him._

"Very well," said Ava. "I think that sounds fair enough." She paused. "And speaking of Melissa, I saw her just a few months ago."

"What?!" Stu said. "Really?"

"Yea...let's just say...she prefers tacos over sausage."

"NO WAY! Melissa is...a lesbian?"

"Yup," Ava laughed with glee. "She was with a woman. By the way...she asked me to send her regards: 'Suck my dick. I hate you both'."

Stu laughed along with Doug.

* * *

Ava was dropped off at the mall to meet up with Lauren, Stephanie, and Tracy. Stu, Doug and Phil were going over to Alan's house to unofficially invite him.

"Have fun!" Stu trilled mockingly. Then drove away.

Ava sighed, really sullen. She found Tracy, Stephanie and Lauren. Lauren was a bit livid, but nonetheless welcomed Ava uncomfortably.

"Oh, hi Ava," said Lauren. "I'm glad you're here. Stu said you're great at picking out colors."

"Yea," she said sour. "Just so you know, I'm here because Stu made me come. If I want to mend our friendship, I have to do this."

"Well, you should," said Tracy. "You were really crazy yesterday."

"Yea. Sorry about that. I guess I had too much to drink." She turned to Lauren. "Look, I'm really sorry I ruined your party. I...was jealous."

"Jealous? What were you jealous about?" she asked.

"I was jealous that I was losing my best friend to you...that's all. And I'm really sorry. That stupid green-eyed monster just got out of control. I don't want to get off on the wrong foot, Lauren...again."

"Well, your present just made up for your behavior," said Lauren. "I can't believe you gave us that much money! How were you able to give us that much?"

"Well...let's just say...I'm richer than God...thanks to a celebrity's generous donation."

"You met a celebrity?" Lauren was now intrigued. "Who?"

"Mike Tyson. I stole his tiger while I was..." Ava had to lie again to Stu's fiancee. She didn't want her to know she was with the boys at her brother's bachelor party "In Vegas for my roller-derby championship. I got drunk and did some crazy shit like that. So, I returned it and he gave me money."

"Wow!" said Stephanie. "Mike Tyson gave you money? How much?"

Ava shrugged. "Let's just say...I can live luxuriously for quite a long time. But I have no intention of touching that money otherwise. I figured I'd give some of it to Lauren and Stu a present."

"Well, it certainly was a very generous amount," said Lauren. "It'll replace some of the broken gifts you damaged...and a little of something else for us."

Ava sighed feeling very remorseful. "Well...again, Lauren. I'm really sorry. I hope we can be friends...eventually."

"We'll see."

During the whole shopping, Ava was completely bored out of her mind: trying on bridesmaids dresses, commenting on colors and picking out the right shoes. The girls were, of course, impressed that Ava knew her colors very well. It was a talent of hers. When Lauren showed them her wedding dress, Ava felt those hurt feelings again. How it could've been her...just seeing Lauren wearing Stu's grandmother's ring. Filled with so much regret. She could feel tears...

"Ava, are you OK?" asked Lauren worried, seeing her shaking.

"I-I'm fine..." she said. "Just please don't tell Stu...I promised I wouldn't be emotional today..."

"No," said Lauren. "It's fine. We're women. We're allowed to cry. And I won't tell Stu."

"You look...really beautiful, Laur," Ava said. "This is the dress you should wear...when you marry Stu. I promise you he will love it."

"Really?" she said, smiling at her. Ava nodded, painfully. "I guess Stu was right about you. You DO have excellent taste."

_Goddammit!_ Ava thought. _She's too damn nice! I hate her...yet, she's so awesome. Well, you're doing this for Stu, Ava Genevieve Billings. Your friendship is at stake. Might as well make the best of it._

"Thank you."

* * *

Ava was so fucking miserable being with the girls. She hated every minute of it. Just chitchatting away about wedding bullshit. No! If she were to plan a wedding, she'd rather go tux shopping with the guys. She was bored. Who gave a shit about dress colors going with what shoes. What salon to get hair and nails done.

Ava sighed as she drank her Starbucks caramel frappachino, barely listening to half the conversation with the girls. Just absorbed in her own world.

"Ava?" said Stephanie. "What's going on with you? You're being a quiet Debbie Downer. We were just talking about sex. You _love_ talking about sex."

"Mm, not today," she said sullen.

"Yea," said Tracy. "You always go into explicit details."

"I do?" she said embarrassed. "Oh...right."

She was kind of glad that Lauren wasn't around. God forbid she should find out that Ava was a slut. She'd have more reason to be suspicious of her soon-to-be husband.

"So...did you hook up with anyone?" asked Stephanie.

"Mm...not really," she said flatly, playing with the whipped cream on her frappachino.

"What's going on with you, Aves?" asked Tracy. "I haven't seen you so down since..."

"Yea, I know. The day Stu and I broke up. It's OK."

"Yea, this isn't like you, Aves," said Stephanie. "You're always so happy and colorful...especially with the boys. What's going on with you?"

"I...I don't feel comfortable talking about this," Ava said, looking down.

"Well, you need to talk about it...you can't expect the boys to understand your womanly feelings..."

Ava sighed. She didn't really think like girls...not too much anyway.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said.

"C'mon. What's going on with you, Aves? You hardly are at parties anymore...we really miss you," said Stephanie. "Eli misses you especially."

Ava was getting nowhere with this. This is why she hated girls. They always wanted to talk about their feelings. She would rather just bury them like guy.

"OK. I'll tell you...but you can't tell Lauren I said this."

"Of course!" the girls responded.

"I miss Stu," she confessed, feeling that big load come off of her.

"Well...that explains everything," said Tracy. "Doug's said he had a feeling you did."

Ava rolled her eyes. God! Even HE couldn't keep his mouth shut! She was going to kick his ass later just like she always did when they were kids. Well, she had ever since they were in utero. She laughed to herself.

"Yea," Ava said. "I know it sounds stupid, but I do. I miss everything about him: his smell. His hair. His blue puppy dog eyes when he wakes up in the morning next to me. How he cuddles with me in the morning and does this little neck kiss when he wakes me up."

"Aw," simpered Tracy. "He does that?"

"Yea. It's really...nice. But if I tell him that I miss him, I feel that I would ruin his life...and I don't want to hurt him OR Lauren. I mean, I want to move on. But I can't understand why I still have these feelings for him."

"So, have you told Stu?"

"Er...well, that's the embarrassing part...I'm sure you all heard about my little...mishap at his office by now."

The girls laughed.

"Oh yea! The hardwood floors you had installed," laughed Stephanie.

"Yea. Talk about a waste of money," Ava said a bit dry. "I wanted to surprise Stu...only to have his fiancee walk in and get an eyeful of naked...me."

"So, what are you going to do, Aves?" asked Tracy.

"I dunno. My brother said I should get some kind of closure with him before he gets married. But I don't think it's fair."

"Well, that sounds like a good idea. You can't just sit on your feelings and let them fester..."

"Why did you and he...part ways anyway?" asked Stephanie. "You were so happy and...perfect."

"I dunno," Ava said with a shrug. _Because you wanted to fuck other people, that's why, you stupid ho!_ she wanted to scream. "I wasn't...really ready for a relationship at the time. But we still want to be friends...but I don't think I can do that either. I mean, what am I suppose to say to a man who I still have feelings for?"

"Well one thing: don't do it when you're drunk...and not on his wedding day. You and Stu need to find a quiet time and place to talk about your feelings."

"I dunno when that's supposed to be. His wedding is a week away. There's no way I can squeeze in a time for that."

God! Girls were annoying. Ava wanted to get the hell out of here. Her friendship was totally not worth spending an hour shopping and talking about feelings.

"I'm sure you can find a time," Tracy said. "Just don't waste your time."

"What was it like, sleeping with Stu?" Stephanie whispered.

Well, at least there was a benefit to talking to girls...

"Uh...I don't think I should talk about that...since his fiancee is here," Ava said uncomfortable.

"Come on! It was two years ago. It was in the past."

Stephanie was just like Pervert Phil, her husband.

"Um...well, he's...really attentive to details, let's just say," Ava whispered impishly. "He knows how to touch and how much pressure to use for one. I mean the foreplay...it really makes the orgasm worth it."

"Ooh!" crooned Stephanie. "Lauren sure is a lucky girl."

"Yea. But his oral skills...are excellent. He eats more pussy than a lesbian."

The girls giggled and oohed and ahhed. Ava blushed, a bit embarrassed herself. She never talked about Stu and her's intimate life before. It was kind of embarrassing.

"And how is he...?"

"Oh," Ava blushed. "He's perfect...there. All I can say is the afterglow is the best part."

"What are you all talking about?" asked Lauren.

"Nothing," the girls said.

Nope. The girls wouldn't tell Stu's fiancee that his best friend had done the dirtiest deed with her groom. Ava knew already she was the Best Maid of Dishonor.

_More like Whore of Dishonor._ Ava laughed.


	4. Best Whore of Dishonor

_Best Whore of Dishonor_

It was the worst punishment of the week: being forced to help with the girls plan the wedding...of course, Ava did it for Stu's sake. Yet she HAD to tell Stu about her feelings...get closure before moving on, as much as it would hurt to know that he had.

_Just think of it as ripping off a Band-Aid_, Ava said. _It'll hurt for only a moment. Just get it over with._

Ava went over to Stu's house to talk to him. Thankfully, Lauren had left ahead of time to Thailand to make arrangements for the wedding. It was the perfect time to get closure.

"So how did it go?" he mocked, knowing Ava hated every minute of it. "Shopping with the girls?"

"It was fine," she said. "I guess I saved my ass a second time with your soon-to-be bride."

"Yea. Lauren said you impressed her again."

"Well, I intend to behave myself as promised, Stu."

"Good. Let's just hope the whole...marriage thing between us never comes out."

"Oh good God!" she sighed. "So how did it go at Alan's? I guess he's coming."

"Yea," said Stu with tight lips.

Ava felt sorry that Stu was forced to invite the ONE person he didn't want at his wedding. Well, it wasn't his fault that Tracy wanted him to come...and of course, Doug can't say no to his wife. Well he could...if Mom was still alive.

"So what happened?" asked Ava sipping her coffee. "Over at Alan's?"

"Well, you're not going to believe this...but he kept all the pictures from our Vegas trip."

"Aw shit!" she groaned. "I guess Doug found out about our...marriage."

"Yea. But I can tell you...he thought it was funny seeing our wedding pictures."

"Huh," Ava said. "Usually when I do crazy shit like that, I get a lecture from him. No doubt I will."

"Well, I explained to him everything. He seemed to understand."

"I won't hold my breath," she said.

"And get this: Alan's been in touch with Mr. Chow."

If there was another person besides Melissa she didn't want to see again, it was that crazy Asian flamboyant gangster, Leslie Chow: she pepper sprayed him, was beaten up by him brutally and his men, AND she stole $2,400 from him. Yea, a little revenge for beating her up, that motherfucker.

"WHAT?!" she exclaimed. "Oh my GOD! He _really_ HAS lost his mind!"

"No kidding," he said flatly.

Ava sighed, looking at her iPhone of all her notes of what to talk about for closure with Stu. Yet...just seeing him. Reminiscing all those times together. What was she suppose to say to the man she loved?

"Stu," she began, taking a deep breath.

"Yea?"

"Um..."

She looked into Stu's blue eyes, behind those wire-rimmed glasses. Seeing the boy she used to play with in dorky clothes. The boy who used to hide with her in the tree house. The boy who never pulled her pigtails, never scared her, the shy boy. The orthodontia-adorned, coke-bottle glasses wearing nerd she remembered from high school to college.

"You want me to do a speech at your rehearsal dinner?" she blurted quickly.

"Well, you _are_ the best maid," he said. "I think it's required."

Ava smiled. Fuck! She chickened out! Goddammit! She couldn't do it!

* * *

When the time came to leave for Bangkok, she carpooled with the boys. Their flight would leave at 3:15 PM. It would be a 16 hour flight. 16 hours with four men! Cramped in coach seats. Phil thought Ava should pay for first class seats for them, but Stu adamantly refused. Not that Ava would've minded giving her best friend a memorable time.

"Hi, Mother Wolf," Alan said, hugging her. "I missed you."

"Yea," Ava said, flatly as he called her that nickname. "OK, Al. I missed you too."

"I'm glad you're coming to Stu's wedding. I felt I haven't seen you in a very long time."

Ava answered with another inaudible 'yea'. It really hurt that she had to endure this. But she promised Stu she would behave herself. No outbursts. No crying. No nothing.

Then, she saw a young man approach them in a blue dress jacket. He was cute.

"Hey!" Stu said excited. "There he is!"

"Hey, Stu," said the young man, hugging him. "Good to see you."

"Who's this?" asked Alan a bit sullen.

"This is Teddy," Stu said. "Lauren's little brother. Going to Stanford. Premed. This is Phil, Alan, and Doug and his twin sister, Ava."

They all shook hands with Teddy. When it came to Ava's turn, Teddy stared at her. He smiled as he beheld the young woman. So this was Stu's crazy, colorful best friend he told him about? She was hot...for someone older than him: her sapphire eyes behind a long swept-aside bangs of dark pixie hair. She had dark eyeliner and red lips. Her jewelry was a pair of hoop earrings and a handmade bracelet, obviously by some kids.

"Hey, Teddy," Ava said, feeling that flirty side of her coming out a bit.

"Are you...Cherry Girl?" he said squinting her over.

"Uh..." aw shit! Soon, Phil and Doug's laughter rang out as well as Stu's uncomfortable chuckle.

"I can't believe it! _You're_ Cherry Girl! I saw your video. Pretty awesome. You're really popular on campus...the girls do your little trick all the time at frat parties."

Even though Ava was older than him, she was young enough to pass off as a college girl. She was hot: nice tits. Cute ass. Really nice legs with a tattoo on her right ankle. He wondered what other surprises she had in store underneath her clothes.

"Yea," Ava said, turning red with embarrassment. "Um...could you NOT tell Lauren about that? That was really embarrassing."

"Your secret's safe with me. Anyway, Stu told me all about you."

"What did he say?" She asked, looked over at Stu with a cocked eyebrow.

"That...you're colorfully interesting," Teddy said blushing.

Ava shrugged, flattered. "Yea. I can be. But I have to behave this weekend."

"That's right," said Stu.

"Stanford?" said Phil surprised. "How old are you?"

"I..." Teddy began.

"He's 17. Kind of a genius," Stu added.

"Actually, I'm 16," he corrected. "And I'm not really a genius. My dad made me take the entrance exams early."

"So what? Are you a doctor?" asked Alan dumbly, but glaring at the young man.

"No, not yet. Premed," Teddy said.

"Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?"

"Yea," said Teddy.

"Well, turned out to be a gay."

"Alan," Ava sighed, mortified by her brother-in-law's blurt. Ava was a bit embarrassed to have Alan as part of her family.

"It's true," Alan insisted. "I read it in _Teen People_."

Ava rolled her eyes. "Don't mind him, Teddy. He's a bit...let's just say he played under power lines and ate paint chips as a kid."

Stu, Phil and Doug laughed. Even Teddy laughed. Ava sure was funny! Alan just stared dumbly with resentment at Teddy.

"Well, I'm gonna grab a book or something for the plane," said Teddy. "You guys want anything?"

There were various nos amongst the boys.

"I would love a Smartwater," said Stu.

"Yea," said Ava. "I'll come with you, Ted. I might get a magazine and a few other things."

"Are you sure you don't want me to get them for you?"

"I'm a big girl, Ted. I can look after myself. But thank you."

She and Teddy took off to the convenience store at the airport.

_Really Aves?_ she thought to herself. Was she really going to think about sleeping with a teenager?! Was she THAT desperate to get laid? Still...why not? She had slept with teenagers...when she WAS one! God! There was that stupid slutty side of her thinking like that!

Ava looked over the young man. He was sixteen! And in college. A premed! Maybe Teddy was just what she needed to get over Stu. A nice fresh lay. Oh...who was she kidding? This was illegal! Teddy was off-limits. OK, maybe just light flirting with him. She didn't want to lead him on.

"So, Ted," she said. "Do you like Stanford?"

"Um...it's OK," he said with a shrug.

"You don't seem to be too happy."

"Well...not really," he said. "I mean...I wish I could do normal stuff."

"Yea, like what?"

"You know...crazy shit like you do."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my sister told me that...you acted crazy at her engagement party. She told me you took out two cakes."

"Yea. I embarrassed myself...I don't normally act like that. I was just having a really bad day..."

"Nah, I thought it was kind of...funny. It was like watching one of those MTV shows with screaming teenagers."

"What I did was immature and stupid, Teddy. That's not really a colorful side of me. That was more like a psycho-crazy side."

Teddy smiled with a light chuckle. He stared at the cute older girl. She had really nice tits. He'd like to get laid by someone this hot. They walked back together to sit with the boys, waiting for their flight.

"Do you mind if I sit?" asked Teddy, gesturing to the empty seat next to Alan.

"Yea," said Alan sullen. "Wolf Pack only."

"There IS no Wolf Pack," Stu sighed exasperated.

"You can sit with me, Ted," Ava offered.

"OK. Thanks, Ava!"

Ava read a mini Thai dictionary, which also contained Thai phrases and greetings. She looked over at Teddy, who was staring silently, looking at all the boys and a little at Ava with shy glances.

"So, Ted," said Ava, breaking the ice. "Would you mind helping me with these Thai pronunciations? I want to make sure I'm saying them right."

"You've been studying Thai?" Teddy said amazed.

"Yea. If I'm gonna be visiting another country, I'd like to know how to speak the language. I always like being prepared. I'm sure some people there might not speak English."

"I'd be glad to help you."

Stu watched as Ava and Teddy chatted away. They were leaning over some book, laughing and giggling like two school children.

_Oh my GOD! Was she really...?_ Stu sighed.

Wow! She was flirting with a teenager, his fiancee's little brother! How pathetic! Yea, he'd seen this flirty side of Ava before, plenty of times: throw in a little flattery and a few jokes, then she had men hooked. Yet, he still couldn't help but feel a little...

Jealous.

What?! He shouldn't be feeling jealous! He was getting married! Ava was his best friend...and his former flame.

The boys and Ava boarded the plane to Bangkok. Ava continued to read her book on Thai phrases and the language. She wanted to understand anything while they were there. She studied the script and the pronunciation, leaning over towards Teddy to ask how to pronounce it.

"Are you really...going to do it?" Stu whispered.

"Do what?" Ava said confused.

"Fuck my fiancee's little brother...at my wedding?" he hissed.

"We were just talking," she insisted.

"Yea. I know you, Aves," he said. "You were flirting with him. I saw you."

"Oh, so now you're stalking me, Stuart?" she said dryly.

"OK, I'm going to add another rule to our little agreement: you are NOT allowed to fuck Teddy, OK? In fact, you're not allowed to flirt with him. What you're thinking of doing is illegal."

Ava sighed. "So, basically I can't talk to him."

"You can talk to him. Just no flirting...or fucking. I will not have you be Best Maid of Dishonor at my wedding. Also, keep your alcohol to a limit...and your legs closed."

"Fine," she said flatly. She rolled her eyes when Stu wasn't looking. Jesus!

* * *

Once they reached the resort where Stu was having his wedding, Ava watched with sour envy as Stu hugged and kissed Lauren. _NO!_ She yelled at herself. _You HAVE to behave. No green-eyed monster! No emotional outbursts!_ Though she promised Stu she would behave, she still couldn't help but feel...

Jealous.

"Hi, Ava!" Lauren greeted her with a cheek kiss. "So glad you could come. Stu said you're his Best Maid."

"Yea," she said with a forced smile. "And don't worry, I won't take out your wedding cake this time."

Lauren laughed.

Ava went to her room to drop off her luggage and change into something comfortable. First they had to go to rehearsal by the afternoon, next would be the dinner. Ava was already sweating. She had to admit that Thailand was a beautiful place, but it was so hot! At the rehearsal, she was standing at the alter with the boys, feeling the beads of sweat roll off her skin. She watched with a sullen, yet composed face as Stu and Lauren stood at the alter, practicing their vows. She tried to keep it to a limit, behave herself.

Suddenly, she felt water flooding her eyes, but tried to be as poised as possible. The wound in her heart was still fresh...even though two years had passed. Doug saw his twin sister, her body convulsing and her head lowered, trying to hide her wet blue eyes as she watched Stu standing with Lauren. He leaned over to whisper to her.

"Hey, baby sis, are you OK?"

"Yea," she whispered painfully. "You know me...and weddings. I promised Stu I'd behave...but I can't help it."

"I'm sure he'll understand," Doug assured her gently, holding her hand. "Did you get any closure with him at least?"

Ava lowered her head, dabbing her eyes discreetly. "No. I chickened out. I guess...I suck and I have to live with this."

"Yea, baby sis," he said. "You feeling the little green-eyed monster again?"

"Mm-hmm...it's getting hard to resist...even though I promised Stu..."

He took Ava's hand and let her squeeze it tightly...just like when they were kids. Whenever they felt angry, sad or jealous, they'd hold hands and squeeze them until their feelings were gone. He felt sorry for Ava, knowing that she was so full of regret letting him go. How much she still loved him.

"Thanks, big brother," she whispered.

"That's what I'm here for," he whispered.

* * *

At the rehearsal dinner, Ava wore the red dress Stu bought her in Vegas. Maybe she'd wear it, for old times sake. Everyone was wearing normal colors like blues and greens, she saw some Tibetan monks dressed in sienna and golden yellow linen robes. Ava felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb, embarrassed. Well, it was her favorite color.

When Ava stepped out where they were having dinner, Stu saw her...wow! Ava did look good...she wore the dress. The dress he bought her. Words failed him as he looked over his best friend, his former flame, so beautiful. All he could do was give a smile.

"Sorry," she said ashamed. "Should I have not worn this?"

"No," he said. "It...still looks good on you, Aves."

"Thanks, Stu," she said, blushing.

There was a pang in both their hearts as they shyly talked to each other. It was that night...the night they actually made love in Vegas. A beautiful night they had together. Ava wished she could reminisce with him...if he wasn't engaged...or if they weren't around all these people.

Stu introduced Ava to everyone, including Lauren's father, Fong. He looked over the small brunette in the red dress with Stu. _Definitely a whore. _Fong thought.

"_Sàwàtdee k__â_," Ava said. "_Dì-chun chêu Ava Billings . Yin dee têe dâi róo-jàk." (Hello, My name is Ava Billings. Pleased to meet you.)__  
_

Stu and Lauren, even Fong were amazed at how well Ava spoke Thai. Wow! She did it with eloquence, fluidity and her pronunciation sounded like she was from Thailand itself.

"Your Thai is very excellent, Ava," Fong said in English, a bit impressed.

"Thank you, sir," she replied with a smile. "Teddy helped me out a little bit at the airport. I figured I'd surprise and impress you."

"So, how do you know Stu?"

"Stu and I have been best friends since we were children," she said. "And he's my dentist as well."

"You played with boys?" he said.

"Yea. I was never interested in playing with girls. The boys and I always had fun."

"Well, isn't that nice," he said with a fake smile. Then, walked away, shaking his head with disapproval, saying something under his breath, walking away towards Teddy.

"Did he just call me a 'whore'?" Ava whispered to Lauren. Oh yea. Teddy taught her the dirty words as well.

"Don't worry about him," said Lauren. "My father doesn't like anything."

"Jesus, what a dou..." Ava was about to say until she saw Stu glaring at her. "Sorry. That's my colorful side coming out again."

"No, it's OK. He is kind of...a douche," whispered Lauren giggling.

The rehearsal dinner a grand affair: a beautiful view on the water with lotus blossoms blooming in pinks, the sunset and the mountains in the background. Ava was a bit unsure of what to eat. There was lots of seafood, which she did like, but had to be careful since she was allergic to shellfish. God forbid if she ate something and ruin Stu's rehearsal dinner because of an outburst...well, one that wouldn't be her fault. Good thing she stocked up on PLENTY of EpiPens.

While they ate dinner, Teddy played Bach's No. 1 Suite in G at the dinner. Ava listened to it and it was quite beautiful. Teddy was talented. Yet, she kept staring at Stu, feeling so much bitter regret for not telling him her feelings. Restraining with every ounce of effort to behave. Pushing the green eyed monster down. Keeping her tears back. Just keeping herself composed.

Stu looked really happy...and handsome. She missed him.

"Thanks," he whispered. "For behaving yourself so far."

She nodded. "I'm trying."

Soon as Teddy finished playing his cello, everyone applauded. Lauren's father tapped his champagne glass to indicate he was making a toast.

"Thank you, Teddy," said Fong. "The hands of a brilliant musician...and someday of a brilliant surgeon."

Then Teddy sat down, beaming with embarrassment next to Alan, who continued to stare resentful at him.

"I admit it," he continued. "When I first met Stu, I wasn't quite sold. He seemed unattractive...he lacked intelligence and imagination...he was missing that spark you look in a man..."

_You motherfucking asshole! _Ava wanted to scream at Fong. She knew Stu was certainly neither of those things! She swallowed her rage, trying to stay calm. Stu looked a bit wounded hearing this, but managed to smile with dignity, holding Lauren's hand.

"But then I look in his eyes," continued Fong. "And he reminded me of my sweet brother, Chaiyo. Chaiyo, as you know, is learning-disabled and lives in group home..."

Alan let out a laugh, splitting the awkward silence. Everyone stared at him. Ava rolled her eyes, thinking _dumb ass!_

"But he loves _chok_. And Stu is _chok_."

"What is that?" whispered Stu to Lauren.

"_Chok_ is soft white rice in lukewarm water," Fong explained. "It has no taste. We feed it to small baby and very old people..."

Ava's eyes went wide, feeling her cheeks redden with anger. She felt herself balling her fist, seeing her ten-year-old self...seeing Stu lying in the mud with a black eye that bully Tammy gave him after beating him up. Getting madder by the minute that the bride's douche bag father was insulting her best friend...yet she had to remember:

_No outbursts! No outbursts!_

"The world needs _chok_. Just like the world needs people like Stu."

_Oh, you got that part right, old man!_ Ava wanted to say. _I need Stu! I need him._

She looked over at her best friend, who's face looked so hurt. She wanted to hug him. Tell him it was OK. That none of those things Fong said were true.

"Now I believe Ava, the Best Maid and Stu's best friend..." Fong said. "Whom I had the pleasure of meeting. I was surprised that this colorful flower is friends with someone like Stu. When she told me she played with boys, I believe this girl is what we call _dok, _a whore."

Ava placed her hand on the side of her head, reddening as stood up, angry and humiliated that this man blatantly insulted her. Yea, she was a slut, she knew that. She joked about it plenty of times with her friends, but the way that old man said it was just hurtful. Oh...God! She wished she didn't wear this stupid red dress. It clearly said she was one.

Well, she was going to one-up that asshole Fong...but with grace and dignity. She was going to be a mature adult.

"Um...hi," she said. "I'm Ava Billings. As you know, Stu and I have been best friends since we were kids...um..."

She was sweating nervously, looking at Stu. All eyes were upon her as they eagerly awaited to hear her speech. She sucked in her lips, feeling her cheeks reddening.

"I..uh...spent the whole week trying to figure out what I could say...about my best friend, express how much...Stu means to me as a friend," she continued, her throat tightening. "It was in that moment...I came across a poem I wrote in second grade, but I never got to read it though...well, because the teacher sent me to the principal for using...a dirty word in it. It's a little corny, but it's sweet."

Her hands fumbled for the crumpled paper in her purse, shaking. She had to compose herself.

"It's called _My Best Friend Stuey_," she said.

She looked at Stu who was smiling, then at her chicken-scratch, second-grader handwriting and began to read it:

"The little boy in the mud with a black eye/I gave his bully a bloody ride/The little boy with the shy smile/That lit up any room/Even when there's gloom and doom/The little boy who I shared secrets/He'd never tell/Even if we went through hell/My best friend Stuey and I/Friends forever that's no lie."

There were various aws amongst the table. Stu smiled, so touched by Ava's words. His blue eyes were brimming with water.

"Anyway, I just want to say," Ava continued, her own eyes misty; they were regretful and hurt, yet she tried to make them look happy. "Stu, you're my best friend. You're getting married to a really super cool girl...I'm sure you'll make an awesome husband. I wish you the...best congratulations in my...heart." Clearing her throat a bit and ridding whatever tears she had, she looked at Lauren. "Lauren, all I ask is you promise me that you'll be really good to my best friend..."

Lauren nodded with a smile, very touched.

"...because if you don't, I will give you that bloody ride I did to his bully," she concluded with a laugh.

Stu laughed, recalling how much Ava beat up Tammy that day. Everyone laughed of course at the last line, then applauded.

"Thank you, Ava," said Fong. "Now, I believe Teddy has something to say..."

Teddy was about to stand up, only for Alan to stop him with a 'I got this'.

"That was a great speech, sir," said Alan to Fong. "I liked the comparisons between Stu and rice..." Then to Ava, "Ava, I liked your poem. I liked the part about how you mentioned his smile."

Ava nodded, a bit embarrassed. Alan took out some cards and went on and on about facts about Thailand in a monotonous voice, pronouncing the name wrong with a 'th', making it sound like thigh-land. Ava wished he would shut up. She drank her wine, trying to stay as composed as possible.

"Alan," said Doug. "Why don't you just skip to the last card, buddy?"

"None of you know Stu like I do..." Alan began. "Not you." He kept pointing to random people. "No one. I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made a pact more important than blood..."

He flipped the card.

"What I can tell you is this," Alan continued. "This is not Stu's first marriage..."

Ava blanched and her face dropped in fear. Oh fuck! He'd better not say it! She had been trying to make herself as graceful and dignified as possible, playing the part as the best friend, not the whore.

_Please don't say my name! Please don't say my name! _She chanted with hopefulness.

"Stu married Ava in Las Vegas a few years ago...they slept together...they tried a relationship out, but they broke up..."

_Oh my...FUCKING GOD!_ Ava screamed inside. She hid her flushed face in her hand, sucking in her lips with eyes shut tightly. Stu looked equally mortified as her. Lauren was staring at Stu and Ava, unable to believe what she had heard. The dreadful words that Alan said still rang in the room, echoing. She wanted to fucking die.

"OK," said Phil, coming to the rescue. "Time's up. Sit down. You can sit down, bud."

Everyone was staring at her. There were hisses of whispers amongst the table where she sat, pointing at the girl in the red dress. Oh yes! Here she is: the Best Whore of Dishonor! The slut who slept with the groom. Her in her fucking red dress, right there! Well it was official! Every one knew who she was: the whore ex-wife. Fong's words were indeed correct.

There was an uncomfortable applause at the table. Stu's face was also red as Ava's dress, his lips thin and tight with humiliation that this painful truth was revealed about he and Ava's past. There was no way he could make an excuse for this. He lied to Lauren...and brought Ava into it. It was all his fault. He could see that Ava was trying to behave herself. He would've given her the right to have a colorful outburst. Yet, she was being so graceful and mature even at this atrocious event that just happened.

Ava couldn't compose herself anymore. She got up slowly and walked the walk of shame to the door, near tears, covering her face...she went back to her room, locking the door. She screamed and cried into her pillow.


	5. Campfire

_Campfire_

After Ava had a few minutes to let out all her pent-up rage and humiliation, she calmed down. Was she ever glad to have a quiet place to have an outburst. She wiped the black streams of makeup off her face, she composed herself. She changed out of that fucking red dress, pulling on an A-shirt and a colorful sarong that she was planning to wear to the beach. She was so fucking humiliated. She was going to kill Alan...fuck it if she ruined Stu's wedding...maybe he'd be happy that she did him a favor and got rid of that big-mouthed dumb fuck.

_Whore. Whore._ She could hear everyone in Lauren's family chanting in Thai.

No way she could show her face at Stu's wedding now. Everyone knew she was the Best Whore of Dishonor. She started grabbing her bags and started shoving all her stuff back in. She was going home. It probably would be best if she did so.

There was a soft knock at the door.

"FUCK OFF, ALAN!" she yelled.

"It's me," said a female voice.

Ava went to get the door, looking through the peephole and was surprised to see it was Lauren. Oh great! Just who she wanted to see. She slowly opened the door.

"Hey," she said hurriedly, expecting Lauren to attack her. "Don't worry. I'll be gone first thing tomorrow."

"No," said Lauren gently. "It's fine...I just want to talk."

"I know," Ava said uncomfortable. "I...look. Stu and I agreed to not talk about this. It happened two years ago...and...it was really embarrassing. But I assure you, I have no intention of stealing Stu from you. But I really do care about Stu...I want to make sure he's happy. And it's obvious that he is...with you."

"I guess I understand," Lauren said. "Look, I don't care what you and Stu did in the past. But you're his best friend...you mean a lot to him. That's all that matters."

Ava was struck with disbelief. Here she was, a fucking home-wrecking whore at her best friend's wedding. Normally when this happened, she would be confronted angrily. She was not used to someone being so...nice. Lauren truly was an angel.

"Jesus," sighed Ava. "You're...you're so nice, Lauren...even to a home-wrecker like me. I just want to say...I'm really sorry I wasn't honest." She started getting misty eyed. "You know...girls have never been nice to me before. Usually when stuff like this happens, everyone just...shuns me."

"Why would I? I don't care about your colorful reputation. I know we don't know each other very well, but I really like you, Ava. Stu talks about no one else...and I can see why you two are such good friends."

"Thank you," Ava said grateful. "You're really are a great girl, Lauren. I look forward to seeing you and Stu more often."

"Yea. Now why don't you come out? No use hiding up here like a coward. You're just going to prove my father right."

Ava nodded, wiping away her tears.

"Yea, fuck that old man..." she said bluntly, then became embarrassed. "Sorry, no offense. I mean he's your dad...and that's my colorfulness again..."

"No, that's good. Fuck him!" she said.

The girls giggled.

"Y'know, as Humphrey Bogart said in _Casablanca: _'This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Ava added.

"Well good to hear," said Lauren. "I look forward to seeing your colorful side more often. You know, Stu and the boys are outside...they're having a drink. You should join them. Celebrate with your friends. Don't worry about the dinner."

* * *

Ava met with her friends on the beach. Turns out that the manager of the resort had set up a beach bonfire.

"Well, well," said Phil, smiling. "Here comes little Miss Whore of Dishonor come to grace us with her presence."

"Phil," Ava said flatly. "As much as I appreciate your slut jokes to me, I'm really sensitive about this shit right now. Just be lucky I don't break your teeth."

She sat on the sand as far away from Stu...unable to look at him. So humiliated. So hurt.

"I'm glad you handled it so gracefully, baby sis," said Doug.

She refused to look at her brother-in-law who humiliated her. His blue eyes looked sad behind his mop of messy red curls.

"Hey, Mother Wolf," said Alan gently.

"Alan, please don't talk to me," she said bitterly. "As much as I hate hitting a child...I will hit you if you speak to me. I'm fucking pissed off."

"I'm sorry, Ava," he said remorsefully like a child.

"C'mon, baby sis," said Doug. "I talked to him. He really is."

"No, Dougie," Ava said, holding up a dismissive hand. "I'm just beyond humiliated to be accepting apologies right now."

"Yea," said Stu. "I'm with Ava on this. You humiliated her, Alan...and me with that stupid speech of yours."

"How are you holding up, Stu?" she asked a bit uncomfortable.

"I'll be OK," he said. "That was the most painful experience of my life."

"Did Lauren yell at you?" she asked worried.

"Nah, she said it's in the past. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Glad to hear that. Let's just forget about it for now. Like you said, Stu, I'm trying to act mature."

Stu smiled, appreciatively. Yes. Ava was acting mature. It was nice to see that for once...and even though she did it unwillingly, at least she would try for his sake. Yet, seeing her in that red dress he bought her...how beautiful...how graceful...hearing that poem...She looked beautiful in the firelight, even though she sat far away from him. She looked sad.

"OK," said Phil returning with a six-pack of beer. "Here we go, American beer. Sealed bottles."

"Thank you!" said Stu, taking one.

"Actually," said Teddy. "I'm not old enough to drink."

"Who cares, Ted?" Ava said. "No one's going to report you. Have a little fun. Let yourself go for once."

"Yea...it'd be a shame to report you. It's illegal," said Alan, his eyes glinting with resentment.

"Alan, just leave Ted alone," Ava defended.

"What's this?" said Phil, finding a bag of marshmallows. "Roasting marshmallows. Nice touch."

"Yea, it was Alan's idea," said Doug.

"Great idea, Al," said Phil opening his beer. "I gotta hand it to you, Stu. This place is paradise."

"Not bad, right?" said Stu with a grin.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you," Phil admitted. "I mean, Lauren is an angel."

"Yea," Ava agreed. "She is."

"Aw, you guys are sweet," said Stu.

"Not big breasts, but solid rack for an Asian," he laughed. "Not like Avers's magical fairy tits, eh Stu?"

_Boys and their fascination with my tits. _Ava rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Don't talk about my tits, Phil. You have _not_ earned the right."

"Oh bullshit! We've been talking about your tits since you were thirteen."

"Wow! That's just wildly inappropriate," Stu said uncomfortable. "But I'm glad you're all here. Even you, Alan."

"Great," said Phil. "Now can we have our one fucking beer already, Dad?"

"Amen, brotha Phil," Ava said in a mocking minister voice.

"Let's have a toast," said Phil. "To Lauren and Stu! You did it, buddy!"

"Cheers!" they all said, clinking their beer bottles together. Then drank their beer.

Soon, they sat down in front of the fire, roasting marshmallows. Ava kept staring at Stu...she still was hurt that she never got to tell him. He looked handsome in that plaid shirt that was open. She was pleased to see that Stu was wearing more colors than before. She remembered when he was with Melissa as the man who buttoned his shirts all the way up, hiding himself behind beiges and whites, khakis, polo shirts and sweaters. Now he was wearing more color, band t-shirts when he was relaxing with jeans. Glad he had blossomed into a handsome man, letting out his inner beauty. She found him even more attractive than ever. His blue eyes behind those wire-rimmed glasses, that shy guy smile she always liked...though his tooth was fixed, she remembered that giant hole there.

She sighed as she gazed upon him sadly...desirous...no. She would never have him again. He belonged to someone else.

Filled with bitter regret that she wasted her time in LA not telling him how she felt. She had plenty of chances to talk with him before the wedding. And now it was too late! Yet, she had to move on. Maybe one last lay with some stranger...just purge the last of whatever slutty magic she had. Maybe she'd fuck a stranger, a hooker...or Teddy. Yea. Fuck it! They were in Thailand. Maybe they'll never find out. Besides, no one was gonna tell on him for drinking a beer...why not fuck the young teenaged brother of Stu's soon-to-be bride? Give him a night to remember. Or maybe bang his brains out at the wedding in the hotel room...or the coat room.

Teddy looked over at Ava as she ate her marshmallow. She and Phil were bantering sexual jokes as always.

"Does everyone make fun of your...er..." asked Teddy in an attempt to be polite.

"Sluttiness? Yea," Ava said with a shrug, her sapphire eyes twinkled in the fire light.

"Yea, Ava's got slut magic." Phil laughed.

"Oh what-the-fuck-ever, Phil!" she snapped playfully, throwing a marshmallow at him. She turned to Teddy. "Just don't mind Phil. He does this because he never fucked me."

"Really? You _never_ fucked Phil?" asked Doug skeptical.

"Pft! No! Are you kidding?" Ava scoffed.

"Really? I seem to recall you and him going out to the shed when we were teenagers."

"Dude, you know about that?!" Ava exclaimed.

"Please! I've known for years, baby sis," Doug laughed. "What dirty deed did you do with Phil, I wonder?"

"Never you mind, big brother," Ava said coyly. "A lady never tells."

"Bullshit, Aves. You're no lady with that foul mouth."

"Fuck you!" She flipped off her brother, laughing.

"Why do they call your tits 'magical fairy tits' anyway?" asked Teddy.

"Because...they're oh-so magical," Phil laughed. "Stu's the ONLY one who got to see them."

Stu blushed a bit. He didn't feel comfortable talking about their intimate life. It was still a bit tender.

"Shut up!" Ava punched Phil playfully. "I still can kick your ass, Phil."

Teddy stared at Ava's tits. She wasn't wearing a bra...at least that's what he thought. Though Ava was older than him, he often wondered what it would be like...to sleep with a woman. All his college roommates teased him enough for being the youngest in their class. They also teased him for not getting laid. Since he was here in Thailand for his sister's wedding, there were no other women he knew...well, except Ava: this colorful, foul-mouthed sapphire-eyed angel. She was quite hot. He'd like to just try it for once. With a stranger. Yet, how was he supposed to? He'd never done this before.

Ava wanted some time alone...alone to contemplate. She needed to clear her head. She still couldn't get Stu out of her mind. Though she promised to be mature, she couldn't fight the hurt or regret...even the green-eyed monster was getting to be hard to control. Just knowing that Stu was getting married...her best friend was getting married and she failed to tell him her feelings...how much it hurt...

"I'm gonna go for a walk," she said.

"Are you OK, baby sis? You want me to go with you?" asked Doug worried.

"No thanks. I'll be fine."

She walked and sat down on the farthest, most secluded part of the beach, holding her beer, looking out at the water. Though she had tried to forget about what happened today, she still couldn't. She was still tender and humiliated...and still regretful that she NEVER told Stu her feelings. Stu was going to be a husband...and Ava would have to play the hurt best friend of unrequited love. Still...it probably would be best. Stu deserved to be with Lauren: sweet angelic nice Lauren.

"Ava?" said Teddy's voice.

"Mm?" she said sipping her beer.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No. Go ahead."

Teddy was nervous. He was sweating and blushing. He looked over the delicious Ava: Stu's best friend who was colorfully experienced. He heard Phil telling about Ava's conquests. She didn't mind being teased about her healthy sex life either. Teddy thought Ava was really cool.

"Could I ask you something?" he began stammering. "I...I wanted to ask if I could...well..."

Of course, Ava had seen this before...with virgin guys. She knew men so well. She'd seen it with Stu...except back in college. Only Stu wanted to ask her out, not sleep with her.

"Sleep with me?" Ava finished.

Teddy was surprised that she was so to-the-point. He was a bit embarrassed...glad it was dark outside, lest Ava see his blushing cheeks.

"Well...I want to...I...I just want to tell the guys back at college that I...did something crazy at my sister's wedding. Y'know something to brag about."

"Ah. So you never..."

"Um..."

"Don't be embarrassed, Teddy," she assured. "Being a virgin is a good thing. You get more women."

"Really?"

"Yea. A male virgin is a rare diamond, I tell you. It's what every girl wants...even the virgins." She paused to sip her beer.

"So...could we...you know, try it...if you're OK with it?"

"I don't know, Ted," Ava said uneasy. "You're sixteen and I'm...well, the same age as all the boys. Besides, why would you want to sleep with me?"

"Well, I don't really know any girls here and...you're really cool...and I heard the guys talking about how experienced you are..."

Ava let out a 'tch' with a smile, shaking her head. Those boys...talking about her and her slut magic. Still, she needed to let Stu go.

"OK," Ava said. "Why not? I can teach you how to make out with girls. For now, let's just stick with first and second base. We'll see if we can get to the rest of the bases." Putting her beer down. "OK, first things first: we don't speak of this. No one has to know, OK?"

"I won't tell," he said. "Can I tell my buddies at Stanford at least?"

"Fine," she said. "Just say you got laid by Cherry Girl."

Teddy smiled. He was shaking, excited to be with a woman! His first time with a woman who was an Internet sensation! Slowly he towards Ava and kissed her, going from closed lipped at first to a little more open.

Ava admired Teddy's youth...his innocence...so young, fresh, pure. She hadn't had a virgin lover in a long time. Teddy was one of them. Still, there was a small part of her that kept telling her this was wrong...and yet there was that evil slut side that didn't give a shit. She needed to get over Stu. He was not coming back to her.

Teddy drooled a lot when they kissed. She stopped him for a moment.

"OK," she said, wiping her lips. "Ted, you're doing fine. Just swallow your spit before you French kiss. Drooling is kind of gross. Also, take it easy with the tongue. You're not in a porno."

"OK, sorry," he apologized.

"It's OK. Here, let me show you how to use that tongue of yours. Think of it as dancing, Ted...I'll lead, you follow. Once you get the hang of it, you can do the same...but try to be equal with your partner when you do kiss."

She showed him. Teddy liked how Ava tasted: there was a hint of beer with cherries. Ava was pleased to see Teddy was a fast learner. Clumsy and nervous, but so what? He was learning. They continued to make out. Teddy was nervous. He had never been with a woman. He wanted to many times. Ava certainly was experienced. She didn't laugh at him for being a virgin at least. That was good. He immediately grabbed her breasts...

"OK," Ava stopped him again. "First thing: don't go for the breasts, Ted. You need to take your time with a girl. You go for her breasts, you'll just piss her off. You can do that with an easy girl or a whore, yea. But a normal one, no. Touch all parts of her...except her breasts and her...well, downstairs. It's all about anticipation. Getting her to want you to touch those parts."

"How will I know when to do that?" he asked with a tremor.

"OK, here's a tip. She'll kind of...arch towards you. That means she wants it."

"Can I touch the butt?"

"Of course. Tease her. Just don't give her blue pussy."

"OK. Makes sense."

Teddy went slow like Ava instructed him. It was great! Getting lessons from an experienced teacher. He cupped a breast...getting a chance to feel it. Oh! It was great: the soft silk globe and the perk nipple. She showed him how to do so correctly. It seemed that making out with a girl, there was always a grey area: not too hard or too soft. Yet there were girls who might like certain touches...just ask if they like it. If she moans, it's a good thing. If she says ouch, then that's bad.

His hand slid down her leg, moving slowly towards her intimate area...what did it feel like? His roommates told him the apple pie reference from _American Pie. _He had seen a woman's genitalia in books. All he kept thinking was anatomy and physiology of a woman, knowing the names, what the parts did and where they were. It should be easy. He was anxious. He could feel the heat even though his hand was about two feet away from the target, slowly luring him.

Ava had to admit, Teddy was a bit clumsy at first...but he did follow his instincts...slow, but OK. He was starting to get it. She wanted to deflower this young man. Let him go back to college and brag to his buddies that he got laid with an older woman...make them jealous. Maybe get praised. Be called a god amongst men. She didn't want to touch Teddy too much...she just did the usual: touch his hair, chest, shoulders and back. Just stay away from the other areas for now. Let him grope and feel her. After all, he was the student.

Yet...could she? Was she really _that_ immature? Was she really going to go from whore to rapist? And of course...she promised Stu...

Stu. How she...missed him...

"Stop!" Ava said suddenly, pushing him away.

"What?" asked Teddy confused. "Was I doing something wrong?"

"No," Ava assured. "You were doing fine. I...I just can't." She caught her breath. She felt tears coming, feeling guilty. "I can't do this, Teddy. I mean, you're a sweet kid, but I just can't."

"Why not?" he asked gently.

"Because...I'd feel I'm taking advantage of you...and I can't do that. It's not fair. I'm older than you."

"Well...that doesn't matter. I want to do it."

"I know. And I want it too...but it's wrong. And..." Suddenly, she started sobbing. "I really...I miss Stu."

Teddy stared, unable to believe what he was hearing. Ava was in love with his sister's fiance? It was kind of sad...but, he felt sorry for Ava. She started ranting in a broken voice, crying.

"And...I don't want to be this home wrecker. I still love him...but I can't be unfair to Lauren because she's so nice and awesome that it hurts me...because I don't want to hurt her. I want Stu back...but he loves your sister. And I never got to tell him how I felt..."

Ava sniffled for a moment, trying to compose herself. She had another emotional outburst...well, it was just Teddy. She hoped she didn't embarrass herself.

"Just...please don't tell Stu...or your sister," she pleaded. "God forbid I should ruin their special day because I'm an emotional wreck."

"I won't, Aves," he promised.

"Look," she said, sniffling. "If it's any consultation, just tell your buddies back at Stanford...you did nail an older woman. But say it with confidence."

"You mean...lie?"

"Well, yea," Ava said. "I mean we got half-way to second base. I mean, you got the lessons, right?"

"Well...yea, I guess...I can try it on college girls now."

"Yea. Oh, and if they ask what it was like, just say it was hot, tight and wet...like the _American Pie_ reference."

Teddy laughed. "Sounds believable. What if they ask...?"

"Oh that! Just say it's like firecrackers going off on your cock. Any stupid college frat boy will believe that. Just remember to take your time with a girl. Go slow. If you really want a girlfriend, that is. I'm really sorry if I led you on, Ted."

"It's fine," Teddy said understanding. "Don't worry about it. Thanks for the lessons though, Aves."

"No problem," she said. "Just remember: don't tell the boys, your sister...anyone...keep it between us...and your Stanford buddies."

"I promise, Aves."

He got up to his feet...he had a bit of a hard-on, thankfully it was just half-mast. He should be able to get rid of it.

"Are you coming?" he asked.

"I'll just be a moment," she said.

Soon Teddy left Ava alone on the beach. She stared out at the ocean, deep in thought...she was a whore. First she was the crazy psycho who trashed Stu's engagement party, then Alan humiliated her at the rehearsal dinner, making her look like the whore who slept with the groom. And just now, she almost fucked a teenager...not just any teenager, the bride's little brother!

Goddammit! What the fuck was wrong with her?! Her life couldn't get any worse. Ava was pathetic. Maybe she should just walk out into the ocean...and end it all...

She heard some footsteps and heard Stu's soft voice with a 'hey', sitting next to her.

"What were you and Teddy doing?" asked Stu suspicious.

"Nothing," Ava said. "Just talking."

"I find that hard to believe," he said skeptical.

Ava shrugged. "Believe it however _you_ want, Stu and _I'll _believe how it _actually _happened."

"Did you...?"

"No," she insisted. "Nothing happened."

It sounded believable enough to him. If nothing happened, then so be it. He had to admit when he saw Ava and Teddy flirting at the airport, he was a bit...

Jealous.

Stu looked at Ava. She looked really beautiful. He began to feel those old feelings coming back to him. How she read that sweet poem at the dinner. How beautiful she looked in that dress he bought her. Why the fuck was he having feelings again for Ava? He shouldn't. He was in love with Lauren.

"So, what are you doing out here all alone?" he asked.

"Just contemplating," she said looking out at the ocean.

"About what?"

"About whether I should take a nice long walk into the ocean," she said dryly.

"You sound a lot like me...back in Vegas," he said with a dry laugh.

She laughed a bit. "I guess so. Well, everyone knows that I'm your ex-wife...and the whore who slept with you. Lauren probably wants me around as little as possible."

"Did she say anything to you?" he asked.

"She said she understands...but I think it's best that I don't hang around you anymore."

Stu was unable to believe what she was hearing. She must be really drunk and melancholy. No. This was his best friend. And already she was cutting ties...just because Alan couldn't keep his fat ass mouth shut? Sounded stupid. Still, what she was saying was probably true. He was lucky that the wedding wasn't called off...

"Stuey? Is it just me...I feel a bit...strange," Ava asked, shaking her head a little. Everything felt fuzzy.

He was feeling a bit strange himself. "I...I feel strange too."

"If I...do anything stupid with you, please stop me."

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

Suddenly, Ava looked at her former flame...she wanted him...how handsome he looked. _Just one kiss._ she thought to herself. A kiss to say goodbye. Just one last time before he got married.

Giving in to her primal impulses, she leaned towards him and kissed him. Stu didn't do anything. He just sat there. Ava started touching him, threading her fingers through his dark brown hair. Her passion began to grow...it felt so right, kissing Stu. He had to stop her! But it felt...so good. It felt so right. He found himself giving in to Ava's kiss...

Then she stopped, feeling remorse. She couldn't. No. Not this time!

"No!" she said, flushed. "This...this is wrong. I can't. I'm sorry, Stu."

Everything felt fuzzy...he felt the demon inside him waking up...tempting him...she looked so sexy ever since he saw her in that dress...how much he wanted her back too...

"It's OK, Ava," he said weakly. "I...I want you to...touch me..."

"What?" Ava said incredulous. Was she really hearing shit? "No! I can't do that...you're engaged. It's not fair..."

The demon took over this time. It was too strong to resist this time. He shushed her with his finger...then he kissed her. His hands exploring her once again...touching the right spots...first up her shirt towards the back, then found a breast, just aching to be touched. He cupped it, feeling the rough nipple between his fingers; it stood at attention.

They made out some more until they fell backwards on the sand...everything was fuzzy...spinning...there were flashes of lucidity here and there...

"Just...just this once, Ava," he pleaded. "Please."

He pushed up her long sarong skirt, her panties gone...a hiss of a zipper somewhere...all she could see was Stu's blue eyes through his wire rimmed glasses...the passion...feeling his touches that set her blood aflame. He kept kissing her neck, smelling her. Her hands popped a few buttons on his plaid shirt and slid her hands under Stu's shirt, feeling his stomach and chest, which she proceeded to kiss and went up to his neck...they rolled on the sand until she was on top. He sat up, cupping her soft bottom...absorbed in her smell as he nuzzled her neck, threading his fingers through her pixie hair...

"I missed you," he confessed tenderly.

The blur came once again...


	6. Not AGAIN!

_Not **AGAIN**_

_I missed you..._

_I missed you..._

Those three words. They echoed over and over. It was like a dream. All she could hear were those words in her mind. Stu's voice when he said them. So tender. So passionate.

Was it a dream? Was it real? It seemed so.

She missed him...

She was dreaming about all those times she slept in his bed, the smell of him that lingered on the pillow when he left for work. She always liked it: so clean and masculine. There was some kind of aftershave she liked of his that he wore; she bought a little bottle of Stu's aftershave and spritzed it on her pillow. It helped her feel less lonely in bed, but she missed the smell of his hair, his warm body when they cuddled, those worshipful kisses on her shoulder and neck, how he nuzzled her...

Her dream began to fade. She didn't want to wake up. Ava was uncomfortably hot...yet, comfortable at the same time. Wherever she was sleeping, it was kind of cramped...yet it was soft and warm...and there was Stu's smell, except it was sweaty and dirty. Also it stunk like a public bathroom that no one has cleaned in a very long time.

Ava was hungover, of course. Yet, she felt filthy, feeling the beads of sweat running down her back. Her face hurt. Blinking painfully as she woke up. She was in a bathtub wearing a man's button-up shirt. Great! She saw a man's hand on her shoulder with rudraksha prayer beads (she seen these at the daycare since some of the moms insisted upon meditation with the kids) on the wrist. Just fucking great! Who the fuck did she sleep with this time? She looked up, finding her own hand with matching prayer beads splayed on the familiar plaid shirt...

Oh fuck!

Stu moaned painfully as he woke up. His face hurt...so did his buttocks. Like the time when he was twelve, he had been spanked hard by his mom for using her bra as a slingshot (Ava's idea, of course!). He smelled Ava's hair somewhere...in his dream? He had to admit he missed her. He loved Lauren, but there was something about Ava...they both were passionate. He found a blurred shape of a woman's head lying on his chest in the bathtub, her hand splayed on his chest with a bracelet on her wrist...he had one on too!

Shit! He cheated on his fiancee! Who was this woman? He blinked a few times painfully...his face hurt so much...until his vision cleared, finding a pair of sapphire eyes looking up...

Stu let out a startled yell when he saw Ava, who also screamed. The two of them recoiled immediately. There was Ava...wearing a shirt of his! Wide open...no bra on AND no pants! She frantically covered her chest with his shirt, staring at Stu. He had no pants on either! Well...thankfully underwear.

"Goddammit, Ava!" he exclaimed angry. "Did you seduce me again?! Ow!"

"I didn't..." she began, then stared at him, horrified beyond belief at his face. Just like in Vegas. "Oh...my...God!" she gasped. "Stu, what the fuck happened to your face?!"

"MY face?" he said just as horrified as she. "What happened to _YOUR_ face?!"

"Stu, we got a..." Phil's voice said from the doorway. "Oh...holy shit!"

Phil and Alan, filthy and sweaty, stood there staring at the two former lovers in the bathtub together. Alan, completely bald, stupefied. Phil with his shirt wide open with Aviator glasses, hiding his shocked eyes and a hand clapped over his mouth. Like _deja-vu_...but this time, it was worse than Vegas.

"Jesus, Alan! What happened to your head?" Ava gasped, seeing her brother-in-law.

"No, YOUR heads," Alan said shocked looking at Stu and Ava.

"You're...bald," Stu exclaimed, putting his glasses on.

Phil then smirked, laughing at seeing such a sight: Ava in Stu's shirt and pant-less Stu, both had with mussed-up sex hair, together in the bathtub. _Classic Stu and Avers_, he laughed to himself.

"You two...just can't stop, can you?" Phil said, shaking his head.

"I don't get it, Phil," said Alan confused. "Why are they in the tub together if they're broken up?"

"What do you _think_ we're doing, Alan?!" Stu hissed.

"Playing patty cake?" he guessed with a dumb shrug.

Phil laughed. "More like Hide-Stu's-Sausage-In-Ava's-Pussy Cake."

"Phil, shut up!" Ava said pissed. "This is humiliating enough!"

"Is that a real game?" whispered Alan stupidly.

"OK, Stu and Avers," said Phil, trying to change the subject. "I know you're freaked out...but it's going to be OK."

"No, it's NOT!" Ava near-shrieked. "I FUCKED Stu AGAIN! And who knows how many times! Shit! My face hurts!" She paused for a moment, realizing something. "Wait...did I get married again?!"

"God, I hope not, Avers," sighed Phil. "But I don't see any rings on your fingers...just matching bracelets."

"Is it my teeth?" asked Stu. "Am I missing my teeth again?"

"Just go look in the mirror, you two whores," Phil said, rolling his eyes.

Ava climbed out of the bathtub first, followed by Stu...and looked in the mirror. On their faces was...Mike Tyson's tattoo...on opposite sides: Stu's on the left, Ava's on the right! Oh...FUCK!

"Oh...my...GOD!" she gasped slowly. "Stu! I have a tattoo! ON MY FACE!" she shrieked.

"No shit! So do I!" he cried in horror. "Ava...please tell me this...isn't real..." He reached towards the inked part of his face...

"Don't touch it!" she exclaimed, slapping his hand away. She examined it closely. Oh yea. She could tell. The flesh was red and sore near the ink. "Yes, Stu," she confirmed. "It's real."

"OH MY GOD! THIS IS A REAL TATTOO!" he screamed.

"No shit, Sherlock!" she cried. "Ow! Aw shit! I hope whoever did this used clean needles."

"Who the FUCK cares, Ava?! I HAVE A TATTOO ON MY FUCKING FACE!"

"Yea...and I don't?!" she said sarcastically. "Stu, I'm pretty sure they don't practice sanitation here like the do in the US of A! We could get fucking hepatitis and HIV...who knows what?!"

Phil and Alan started laughing at them. They looked ridiculous!

"I guess great minds DO think alike," said Phil chuckling.

"SHUT UP, PHIL!" Ava spat angrily. "You're _not_ helping!"

Stu and Ava glared at Alan full of murderous fury. They were sure it was his fault again.

"Alan, what did you do to us?!" Ava demanded, grabbing his shirt, shaking him.

"Did you roofie us again?!" Stu spat angrily.

"I didn't do anything," he insisted innocently.

"BULLSHIT!" Ava said angrily, spraying his face with spit.

"I swear, Mama Wolf!" he whimpered, sounding like a small scared child; his blue eyes watery. "I didn't do anything this time."

"OK! Stu, Avers, he swore to God," said Phil, pushing Ava away from Alan.

"I don't give a shit!" Ava screeched angry. "He's fucking lying! I know it! Goddammit! Fuck! I _KNEW_ I should've gone home when I had the chance!"

"Yea..." Phil continued to laugh. "I guess you _REALLY_ are the Best Whore of Dishonor now."

Now she was pissed off! Again Phil and his FUCKING slut jokes! Normally she would've laughed, but this time it was different! She had been holding in all of her outbursts since her punishment for trashing Stu's engagement party. She was going to make Phil eat his teeth for breakfast!

"You motherf..." she hissed, balling her hand into a fist about to punch Phil...

...when something landed on her shoulders, making her scream...hearing something shrieking as well in her ear. The guys all screamed as well, even Stu with his girly scream. Suddenly, whatever it was that jumped on her...was gone. They looked up and saw...

"It's a monkey!" simpered Alan like a happy child. "Aw, look at his little vest! Hi, monkey."

"Alan, don't touch it!" Ava said. "You don't know where that's been!"

Alan ignored her and reached towards it, only for it to slap him away. "Butthole," he pouted.

Soon a phone rang. They looked around...Ava ran to get it...then saw it was Doug. _Please tell me we didn't lose you again, big brother._

"Doug?" Ava said panicking.

"Hey, baby sis," he said cheerfully. "Where are you?"

"Dougie, where are you? Are you OK?" she said worried. God forbid she lost him again...and in a country she was not familiar with.

"I'm fine. I'm by the pool having breakfast. Are you guys coming down or what?"

"Doug's fine!" Ava announced to the guys, covering the mouthpiece. "He's at the resort."

The guys heaved sighs of relief with a mingle of 'thank Gods', yet they were wondering where they were. She went back to the phone.

"Aves, where are you? You sound scared," asked Doug.

"I dunno," she said. "I woke up in some shithole room in some city."

"What city?"

"I dunno. Fucking Asia Town or some shit! I have no fucking idea! Dougie, I'm scared!"

"OK, Ava, just calm down, OK?" he soothed. "Are you with Phil, Stu or Alan?"

"Yes. I'm with all three of them."

"OK...that's good. You're with people you know."

"Yes. Yes, that is good," she said, sounding ten-years-old again...like the time she lost Doug.

She felt tears coming...feeling so guilty for what she had done. It was official: she destroyed whatever trust she had with Lauren by sleeping with her soon-to-be husband. She was trying to get past the whole naked office shit, her tantrum at the engagement party, and the horrible moment at the rehearsal dinner when her past was revealed. Now this shit! She could see the whole situation now: Lauren slapping Ava in the face, calling her a slut filled with venomous hate, then cutting off her friendship with Stu.

Nope. She deserved whatever punishment lay in store. She was the official Best Home-Wrecking SLUT of Dishonor!

"Dougie..." Ava said, her voice breaking. "There's something I gotta tell you..."

"What is it, baby sis?" he said worried. She heard him sigh. "Did you marry Stu again?"

"I don't think so...I hope not," she said.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Ava wiped away her tears and her lip trembling, unable to respond. Of course he figured it out when she heard a very disappointed, exasperated sigh on the other line.

"Ava, why...Oh my GOD! Jesus! What the _hell_ is wrong with you?" he said.

"Dougie, I swear...I don't know what happened this time!" Ava whimpered. "Please...don't tell Lauren. Don't tell anyone!"

"OK...it's going to be fine, baby sis. No one has to know. Let me talk to Phil."

"OK," she handed the phone to Phil. "Dougie wants to talk to you."

Ava went to join Stu and Alan out in the living room. Alan kept touching his bald-head. Stu was rubbing his bottom painfully.

"Did you tell Doug?!" he exclaimed. Though it was obvious what the answer was on her face. "Oh...God! Why would you do that?!"

"Well he IS my brother, dumb ass!" she said. "Who else am I supposed to talk to? I can't with Mom and Dad! They're dead! And why the hell are you rubbing your ass, Stu?!"

"My ass hurts," he whined.

"Yea, so does my face," she said dryly.

"No, seriously! It hurts when I sit down. I think I bruised it."

"Lemme see," she sighed with rolled eyes, reluctant to look at her former flame's naked bottom.

Stu pulled down his underwear on the left butt cheek...and...

"Whoa!" said Alan softly with a grimace.

"Oh...my...God!" she gasped in horror.

"What? Did you bite me again, Ava?" asked Stu.

"No...it's just a bruise. It's fin..."

"There's some kind of writing," interjected Alan, squinting. He sounded out the words slowly like a kid trying to read. "S...siut...what does that mean?"

Ava rolled her eyes...she obviously could read better...

"It's SLUT, moron," she said shaking her head in annoyance

"WHAT?!" Stu exclaimed. "I have THAT on my ass?! How did it get there?!"

"I don't _KNOW_, Stu!" she snapped sharply. "I don't FUCKING remember!"

"Guys," said Alan interrupting their argument.

"What, Alan?" Ava sighed annoyed.

He was staring at the floor...something with covered in blankets...something small and grey was sticking out of the hole in the blankets.

"Check this out," he said getting on his hands and knees, staring like a curious child.

Ava and Stu joined Alan at his so-called new discovery. They squinted, looking at the small thing...

"Have you seen anything like it?" Alan said.

"What is that?" said Stu, about to poke it.

"Careful!" exclaimed Alan. "It could be a spider's nest. I've tangled with those before."

Ava rolled her eyes hearing this. What else did Alan do at home she could only wonder.

Soon Phil came out, panicking.

"Guys, we have a problem...what is that?" he said, joining them. Then turned his attention to what the three of them were staring at. "Is that a worm?"

"I think it's a mushroom," said Alan. He touched it and tasted his fingers. "Yea. Shiitake."

Soon, the monkey climbed onto the blankets.

"Monkey, taste it. What do you think? Is it shiitake?" said Alan.

"Dude, I don't think it can understand you," Phil said.

The monkey licked the small thing with its little pink tongue. Ava looked more closely...then gagged and grimaced in disgust when she realized what her stupid brother-in-law just did.

"What?" asked Phil.

"UH...guys," Ava said, gagging. "That's...not a mushroom..."

"What...wait a second..." said Phil looking closely "Is that a...?"

Then, the monkey slapped the area and a flamboyant yell came from the blankets, startling all four of them.

"What the fuck, man?!" yelled the flamboyant James Hong voice. "Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone!"

There, sitting up amongst the blankets was none other than...someone they hoped they would never see again...

* * *

**AN: Many thanx to A7X4REVer for being an inspirado for this chapter! Kudos to you!  
**


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